We Never Said, "I Do".

Twenty years tomorrow at precisely 2.30 pm GMT I walked down the aisle of St Peter and St Pauls Church, on the arm of my father, to join my hubby for the rest of my life. Our vows did not include the infamous words, I do, instead we said, I will.
I cannot believe that we have been married for 20 years. The old adage is, time fly's when you're having fun. Well it has been fun. We are best friends and we stick by each other through thick and thin. We tried to account for the last twenty years the other night but only managed to cover about seven minutes. We have done so many things and seen so many places. We have faced things that people shouldn't have to face but by turning to each other we have made it through.
Tough times? Yes, we have had a few. Bumps? Yes, those too. Regrets, we haven't had those. We both have a great sense of humour and to be married this long we need it.

Jakey, I love you. More now than before but not as much as I will love you tomorrow.Happy Anniversary.

Now if you swear not to laugh I will share a wedding photo with all of you. The expression, "what were you thinking?" comes to mind when I look at my dress but it was 1987 and big dresses were in! I had a 6 ft train on my veil and it was a windy day and the bloody thing kept getting airborne. Oh and If I look like a kid, I was. Jakey was a tad scrawny back then but I fattened him up and turned him grey!
We are going away to celebrate for a few days. See you on Wednesday which is another HUGE day for us.

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All Done With Swimming.

Lily had her final swimming lesson this morning. She certainly swims a lot "tidier" now. Before she looked as if she was getting her speed from wiggling her bum but now she actually moves really well. She was diving to the bottom of a 9ft pool and retrieving objects. Her record up until now had been 6ft so she is all chufed with herself. Oh and see her pool shoes, she isn't wearing these for reasons of hygiene, oh no, she is wearing them cos she doesn't want to mess up her pedicure!


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This is Lily with her swim coach. She was awesome and a really sweet kid. I asked Jacob if I could have a body like hers for Christmas...I can't wait to see if Santa brings it....LOL


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This afternoon we went to see Ratatouille. It was OK but not the best movie ever made but she loved it and that is what counts. This was the first time we had gone to the movies together and she was really giddy about it. Once we walked back outisde she looked at me and said, "Lets go out for dinner now and do a little shopping after that"....yes the teenage years are going to be bad, very, very bad!

Tonight when I put Her Highness to bed she told me she didn't really like her bed in it's new spot and said if I wanted to make all her dreams come true I would switch it around for her right now..... Not happening Kiddo but really good try!

Few Words Today.

I have been so saddened lately as I have read of all the horrid things that so many people are going through in their lives. There is such heartache in so many blogger posts.

Today I turned into a cleaning machine and re-arranged furniture and went quite berserk for a few hours. Lily followed me from room to room with her toys and parked her cute little self within feet of me and played so happily. We chatted she had fun and I cleaned like a maniac.

The whole time I was doing it I couldn't figure out what the heck was going on with me because I get this way when I am nervous. It wasn't until a short while ago that it dawned on me (I am allowed to use that pun) I am upset and hurting for people that I don't even know. I have no clue who Colleen or Jim are but I cried so hard when I read about Copper. I don't know 2 other people either but when I read their post about their agency saying that there is no way China will make it through the 30,000 dossiers and the heartache that it has caused them I cried again. Another blog that I linked to through one I read all the time has been crushed by the senseless death of 2 of it's members by a drunk driver. Melissa's last post about Zeus was so beautiful but yet so sad. The comments left for these people are so genuine and heartfelt.

I understand that life can be hard. I have had my fair share of nastiness and cruelty but why does it have to be so painful. This sadness reaches deep into the soul.

To all of you who are going through rough times my heart goes out to each and everyone of you. If I can do anything for any of you just let me know.

I Love My LIfe ! UPDATE

There is nothing like being thrown out of your routine to make you realise just how much you love your life! The last 5 days were not fun. The seminar was great, but very difficult as we dealt with geriatric patients with dementia and it is so hard to see otherwise perfectly healthy people who have no clue about anything including their own name. I think that is so sad. On an up note I met a charming older gentleman and his dog. His dog was totally invisible to me but he loved him so I made a fuss of him too. You all know my history with dogs so this was the perfect arrangement for me.

My girl is very busy at present what with swimming, gymnastics and generally being a goof ball. I went straight back to work this morning and she went off to swimming lessons and then this afternoon I finally got to spend some time with her and we went to gymnastics. She loves it and tries to do everything really fast so that she can have another turn at it before her time is up. Great in theory but as you will see, not so in reality! She tried to whizz through a routine only be to dragged back again and again. I was snickering to myself. I need to go and get caught up on all of your news so this post will be short.
(I have just found out that blogger won't allow me to post any photos or videos tonight so I will have to try again tomorrow.)

16 months ago today the CCAA logged in our file and we started our official wait. We were all excited and new that the 8-9 months that lay ahead would pass slowly for us but that was fine as we waited a long time for Lily's referral and 8-9 months would be a piece of cake. See what happens when you view the world through rose coloured glasses, reality comes right up behind you and bites you on the bum......very hard! Oh well we have to just keep chugging along and looking at all the cuties that get referred every month.

Is anyone else having problems with the HTML on blogger, when I click on it it just does nothing. Bloody thing.

I was sitting here writing some snide comment on CJ's blog about the limited contents of her purse when there was an enormous clap of thunder and the power went out. Within seconds Lily was crying and I was trying to make it up the stairs 2 at a time in the total darkness cos the flashlights that I have all around for emergencies did not leap out of their places and into my hands. Life sure is fun. Lily is fine and my toe is recovering from the wallop I just gave it heading across the living room. Yepper, this is the life for me.

Moms away, Lily is in charge

Mom has been renewing her Massage License CEU's to keep current this past week, so Lil and I have been having fun. It started Friday afternoon, we stayed up late and watched TV, (naughty us). Saturday Lil and I went to the pool all day. Sunday we went to Ft. Lauderdale to meet up with some friends to swim all day at Country Club Hollis $ Grace. The pictures tell the story. Today was swim lessons for a private one on one to improve Lils form. She will be a pro soon! Tomorrow we don't know what will happen, maybe the Zoo?
Thank you all for the Father Day wishes
Jacob



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Yip, Yip, Yip, Yip, And More Yipping

I have been trying to dodge the latest rumours about the wait times extending even further but we just received an email from our agency stating that they are indeed increasing and that we can expect to see them hit the 36 month mark. For Heavens sake this is really getting on my nerves. For the first time since we started this journey Jacob actually got fed up and down with this news. Until now he has been the voice of reason and the positive force behind me but this proved to much for him and he folded, only briefly but he did. I hate to see him get down cos when he is affected it must be real. Oh well soldier on.

Miss Lily had a craft attack yesterday. She has a Klutz book called simply enough "Foam" and she went on a foam mission and made all sorts of little animal magnets. She would not let me help her at all. She spent ages doing them and after they kept falling apart because her glue stick glue isn't strong enough I plugged in the glue gun and she was very happy to have some help. But let me tell you I was only allowed to glue where she said and nothing more. I took her picture with her handiwork because quite frankly I think it is amazing. There are just pictures in this book and she copied them and they are not meant to be magnets she added that twist to them. Damn, this child is a genius. I was going to post it yesterday but I had such a huge headache I quit early!


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Today I noticed that some of the flowers that I recieved from Ray and Dannye had past their prime so I decided I should weed them out and re-do the arrangement. After all my hard work Lily marches into the kitchen glances up and says, "Those look like you did them when you were blind and then pulled them through a hedge backwards". Yes, those were her exact words. Jacob nearly peed himself as did my father when I told him! Just so you know they look quite lovely!


I have to attend a seminar for the next 5 days so I wont be blogging. I won't even be able to regale you with the fun times that I had there either since this is all work related and not adoption related so it will probably bore the pants right off of you, heck some of it will probably bore the pants right off of me too. Jacob is holding down the fort in my absence so it is possible that he will post but don't hold your breathe.

Dannye have a fabulous birthday.
Ryan and Stacy congratulations on making it out of the review room.

See you back on Wednesday.
Adios, muchachas.

The Gymnast

Lily has been waiting very patiently to start her gymnastics class and her patience finally paid off for her today. She was really excited and hit the door of the place running and didn't even bother to look back to check if I was still there.
I must say that I was very impressed by the place and all the different things that she was able to experience in her first class. The instructors are so sweet and kind and appear to generally love kids. It was hard to take photos cos I was staring through mirrored glass so this is the best I have to offer.

Excited Little Gymnast

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It's Raining, It's Pouring.

Yesterday we had hoped to spend the day at the beach and then head to Monty Trainers for a meal before going home HOWEVER the weather had different ideas cos it poured, cats and dogs all flipping day. We did head to the restaurant which is right on the water and you can just pull your boat up and you are there. It rained when we got there and before we left it was like a monsoon. We had to keep switching tables cos we were getting soaked but damn it we refused to leave cos this was the plan. We were drenched but still laughing. The good thing about Miami is it doesn't get cold when it rains.
I decided to play hooky this morning and we headed off to the beach in hopes of re-writing yesterday. We had a great time. We were almost there when Jacob pointed out a strange looking ship in Government Cut. It was a Pirate Ship much to Lilys delight and the pirates were all standing in the rigging. ( I thought they looked like birthday candles from far away which nearly caused hubby to drive the car straight into the ocean as he laughed so hard.) He sped up and drove towards the cut further down where we would be able to get out and Lily would really get a good look. There were photographers there so we asked what it was and they told us it was from Pirates Of The Carribean. All I can say is if I thought Johnny Depp was there I would have thrown myself into the ocean and pretended to drown.
The Birthday Candle Boat


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The music is coming from the boat....pretty cool me thinks.


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After this excitement we headed down to South Beach and went for a swim and generally frolicked about on the sand.


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Lily and Jacob found this tiny crab...of course Lily wanted to keep it for a pet. We really do need to get this child something soft and furry.


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We had water fights in the ocean with buckets. Silly fun.


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But now it is early evening and I have to go to work to make up for all that fun. We leave for the UK in a couple of weeks and before that we are heading away for along weekend so I really have no excuse for playing hooky other than I am a lazy bum who loves have fun with my family.
Hope you had a great Monday too.

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day to my wonderful hubby who, in my not so humble opinion, is one of the best fathers around.

When you make the decision to start a family you have no idea what kind of parent your spouse is going to be. I was convinced that Jacob would be really strict with our kids as he grew up in a strict family and that was what he was used to. Oh brother, was I ever wrong. I have never seen such a push over. He is an amazing Daddy and Lily although she doesn't realize it yet because she is so young is really lucky to be the one to call him that. All she knows is that she loves him with all her heart.

I have to mention my Father here too. I honestly believed he hung the moon and stars for me every single night. Happy Fathers Day Daddy. You are the one who taught me what a real father should be. Thank you for everything you have done for me.

Some of you mums out there wear both hats so Happy Dads Day to you to. BTW, I have no idea how you single mums do it. You are truly incredible.

Mosquitoes The Size Of An Albatross

It is officially summer here in South Florida. The temperatures crawled into the nineties twice this week and we are having lots and lots of summer storms. One minute it is really lovely and the sky is bright blue and within 10 minutes it is as black as night and we are having a huge thunderstorm. These are not ordinary storms and are definitely not for weaklings. The thunder is so loud it can blow out your eardrums, the windows rattle and it lasts for about 10 seconds. Before you have caught your breathe the lightening is flitting across the sky and then the booming starts again. The other day the thunder was so loud that it made Lily shake. She froze on the spot and screamed, MUMMY. I said for her to come here and she whimpered, no you come here. Her whole body shook with every boom. I ended up clutching her on the couch and reading a book in a very loud voice until it was gone.
An other joy of summertime are the mosquitoes. These are the size of your average Albatross and really do go for blood. They will suck you dry if you let them. Lily is very allergic to them, which seems to be a common thread amongst Chinese people. She gets welts the size of quarters and they last for days. Someone told me that rubbing her skin with Bounce dryer sheets would keep them at bay so I tried it and it works really well. Some of these mossys are so bloodthirsty that they stop at nothing but for the most part Bounce works and it beats slathering her in Deet every time we leave the house ( plus she doesn't wrinkle and is static free and smells like Summer Linen, just kidding). I also have to wipe the front door with it to stop them from hovering around it attempting to break in.
Here is a look at what one quick afternoon storm looks like here:

One second it is fine and then this happens.

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Looky, a little puddle!

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Our property value increases at this time of year as we are right on the waterfront .

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Friendship

When we started our adoption process with Lily we had one focus and one focus only and that was to bring our daughter home. At no point did we ever say, I hope we meet lots of great people along the way or on the trip. We had friends and didn't need any more. Our friends are special to us. We both know loads of people but the ones we allow into our hearts are truly special and are also few and far between. We were so shocked at the bond formed between all the members of our travel group and to this day are in touch with every single one of them. So much for not needing any more people in our lives. As we all know the adoption community is filled with really amazing people and the friendships forged here are like no other.

One of our close couple friends are Ed and Jen. I have talked about them a lot and posted photos of their beautiful son Ebby. I am not sure how long we have known them for now but it has been awhile. During this time we have attended many of the special events in their lives and another person who is always there is Jen's best friend and college roommate Katy. Katy is lovely. I don't know her very well but she is so sweet. One day Jen and I were talking about my blog and she said she has another friend who is adopting from China and she has a blog too. Jen, being Jen, didn't say her name or give anymore information than that. I asked her for the blog address and was immediately directed to Ladyfrog. I am getting to the point, I swear I am so just keep reading for a second please. I lurked for a few days and then one time I was reading about a birthday celebration and looked at a photo and thought it was odd that I knew the person in the picture. It was a picture of Dannye's nephew and I have met him before. I emailed Dannye and introduced myself as a friend of Jenny's and we yipped back and forth a few times. Dannye's sister and my friend Jen, are best friends.

Small world or red thread?

As you know we met up with Danny and the fabulous Ray ( & her folks) when we went to Orlando last time and it was like meeting an old friend. Since that point they have spoilt Lily so much with toys and toys and toys. But today it wasn't Lily's turn to be touched by their kindness it was my turn. Just look what was delivered to me from them today. The card reads: Happy Belated Birthday, hope it was all you wanted and more. Love, Dannye, Ray, Freckles & Chynna.


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These flowers are gorgeous, just gorgeous. I was giddy when they arrived and every time I look at them I get giddy all over again.
Thank you so very much. Your friendship and kindness is truly amazing and really appreciated. (see I finally made my point)

I love this community as it surrounds us with such incredible people who do become your friends whether you think you need 'em or not! This second journey to China is so different from the first and quite frankly I am thankful to each and everyone one of you, even though I don't actually know many of you, for your freindship and support.

This is the first time I have ever had flowers delivered. Hubby buys them for me but he never sends them. How cool am I?

2 against 1

There is a special bond between a daddy and his little girl, or big girl for that matter. When we arrived in China Lily's first reaction to Jacob was that he was the enemy. He was fine if I wasn't around but once she saw me he was not a good guy anymore. Immediately after returning home the tides changed and she became a daddy's girl. She has always had this way of saying Daddy that is so sickly sweet it could make you gag. Jacob loves it and knows it is the only word that she says in this particular voice.

When she started school last August she quickly became a mummys girl again and it surprised me and I have to say that I loved it. I loved every second of it. Jacob's feeling were hurt because he was not used to being the 2nd banana. I explained to him that it was just happening because of the change in her life and that she would be his again in no time at all. I knew it would be short lived and I only had my girl for a short amount of time and that if he was lucky he would have wrapped around his little finger for the rest of his life. Sure I know I have my place too but I don't expect to be able to compete (not the right word) with Daddy. Well, that didn't quite happen and she has been stuck to me like glue for nine blissful months now.

Approximately a month ago I noticed a subtle shift in her affections. Don't get me wrong here she doesn't leave one of us out she just favours one of us for certain things. Now if we meet somewhere and end up having 2 cars she will go with her dad whereas 2 months ago she would always come with me and she hates to do anything when daddy can't come. My little girl is turning into a Daddy's girl again and I couldn't be happier cos she really does have an amazing Daddy and she is so very lucky to be the one to call him that.


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My Bad Habits And Other Stuff Revealed

Many thank you's for all the birthday wishes. I had a lovely day but Jakey was at work so I missed him. Never mind, he has to do it so that I don't. What a guy!

Like many people when I blog I write about the stuff that is frilly and fluffy and don't delve to deep into the other stuff. This is a blog about adoption after all, although right now it seems to be more about Lily than the journey as the journey appears to have taken a huge detour. I leave out the stuff about me cos well it just isn't as interesting as Lilys antics. However I have been tagged to this meme and it must be done. Darn this thing is hard!

4 Facts About Me:

1. I came to the U.S. after finishing the equivalent of high school for a short stay and on my last night here I met Jacob. The rest, as they say, is history.

2. I have, for as long as I can remember, always wanted children.

3. I get freaked out if things are a mess and I have to put everything away all the time. However I cannot close a door or a drawer to save my life.

4. I cannot brush my teeth at a sink where other people have brushed theirs, I gag. So until we moved in here and the place was brand new I always had to brush my teeth in the shower in the morning and in between I would walk out of the bathroom and brush and spit in the loo. Yes I know it is freakish.

4 Habits I Have.

1. I cannot let my food touch other food on a plate and I eat all of one thing before starting another. It drove my folks up the wall.

2. I worry about anything and everything and also get very excited about stuff. Before we go on vacation I cannot sleep the night before.

3. I make lists for everything and always check them off as I complete the list.

4. I cannot fall asleep at night unless I rub a piece of fabric on my nose. I always have the same piece hidden under my pillow.(way to much info to be throwing out for the world to see) My hubby just ignores this about me.

4 New Things I Have Learnt Or Experienced In The Last 4 Years.

1. I have learnt what it is like to love a child and have them love you back. There are just no words for this.

2. Lost a friend and through this found out what life really means.

3. Have realised that I cannot control everything in my life and that somethings just work out much better if I just relinquish control.

4. Faced infertility head on and came through it with the biggest smile on my face. Who knew that something that once was so painful could end in such bliss.

4 Things I Want To Try And Do In The Next 4 Years.

1. Leave Miami

2. Start a nursing career in oncology

3. Learn to be more patient. I expect eveyone to move as fast as me and do as many things at the same time as me. Hubby says it is my biggest flaw.

4. Stop being so obsessive about E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

I haven't mentioned bringing home Chopstick cos that is quite obvious and if it isn't you have obviously forgotten the plot.

I cannot imagine that there is a blog out there that has not been tagged for this one so I am not about to tag anyone but if you were missed go ahead and do it now. Now, I mean do it now, damn it! Oh sorry that was that patience thing rearing it's ugly head again.

Happy Birthday To Us

Happy Birthday to me.

Many, many years ago today, whilst the dinosaurs were still roaming the earth, I made my entrance into this world. I was born three months early and was not supposed to make it through the night. Phooey...was my opinion of that prognosis and here I am to celebrate another birthday. I love birthdays but before I throw myself face first into the cake I have to wish someone else a happy birthday too.

Miss Lily over at life with Lily Lin also celebrates her birthday today. She turns 3 today so at least there wont be an inferno at her house when she lights her candles! So stop by and wish her a happy day too.
Happy Birthday Lily Lin.

Why Did It Have To End ?

Yesterday we had one of those days when you ask yourself, "Why did it have to end?" We spent the day with some friends who have 3 little girls from China. We met through our local FCC group and just hit it off immediately and the girls did too. We have been saying for ages that we need to get together outside of the group meetings but we don't. We invited the girls to Lily's birthday party and the were inseperable and so we set another date for yesterday. The girls are ages, 7, 5, and 2 and Lily is 5 and they played their little hearts out for 9 hours without even a miniscule squabble. Grandma Grace is the most wonderful cook and she served us food fit for royalty and even catered individually to each child....something that wouldn't happen in my house but I am not a grandma!
Look at this fun.


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Lily doesn't even mind sharing her daddy with these girls which is goo dreally cos the baby calls Jacob, My Daddy.

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Two Posts In One Day

Firstly, many thank you's to all who prayed, did rain dances and or sent good vibes for good weather for Lilys party. It all payed off and we had a perfect weather day. That was long overdue and I just kept forgetting.

Secondly, many more thank you's for all the good wishes sent to Miss Lil' for her birthday. Including Dannye and Ray and Nikki, Jay and Lily and all of you that sent them on "her" blog. She was thrilled to bits by all the attention, as well she should have been.

This afternoon we went for a swim and she wore her new zucchini, to you and I that would be a bikini. She loves it and it looks so good on her so thank you Auntie Sally and Andy for sending it to her. I will take a photo of her in her dress when she wears it.


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When we came home I went out to get the mail and there was yet another package addressed to her Highness. This one came all the way from Canada and was a complete surprise to all of us. I cannot believe that people that we have never even met would take the time to send Lily a gift. Doris and Dan, I hope that we do get to meet you. You are such sweet and kind people and you have left me speechless. Here is why............


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We did the Panda puzzle this evening. I shouldn't say we as Lily asked for help but everytime I tried to help she told me to stop. It is the most challenging puzzle she has ever done but she managed it in just under 50 minutes. I love puzzles so I hope she wants to to do the Chimp in the morning before we go out. The magnet is planted firmly on the fridge between the China magnet and the ladybird. Everyone that meets you two says what speciall people you are and although we haven't met I strongly agree with them.And as for the fun dip, well you saw that already.

Childhood Memory Meme

I was tagged by Dannye in this Childhood Memory meme that is spinning around from blog to blog. I have had to take a while to think about it cos I had an idyllic childhood so trying to pinpoint just certain parts is very hard. These are in no particular order


1. I loved Christmas in our house. I hated the fact that we had to walk past our pressies on the way to the kitchen to eat breakfast before we could open them and the fact that my father always had to have more to eat but the whole day was just wonderful. My mum loved to decorate and make the house look really nice and we always had extra special goodies just for that time of year. We would go to my Grandmas for lunch and spend the afternoon playing with our new toys with our cousins. The men were in charge of clean up and we always had a huge house full of people so the lady's would cook and then they were able to relax.


2. My cousin Stephen always came to visit his dad for the summer (actually all the school holidays) and we were inseparable. We would take off on our bicycles early in the morning and not return until it was tea time. We would ride for miles and miles and Grandma always gave us a picnic lunch. I would never let "me" ride that far anymore but we had such wonderful days.


3. I grew up in a horsey family but I did not like to ride anything that had it's own brain so my cousin and I were given motorcycles instead of horses. I spent hours upon hours just racing through our field on motorcycles. I loved to do stunts and learnt to ride whilst standing on the handlebars.


4. This is more of a confession but it was so much fun at the time. We lived in a very small village, it didn't even have a shop and everyone knew everyone. There was only one road in and out as it was a dead end. By American standards it was more of a cul-de-sac than a village but it was a village. My cousin and I used to take my dads car keys and drive the van up and down the driveway. He didn't care and we were on private property so no one else cared either. One day Stephen and I decided that it was boring just going back and forth so we decided to go out and about in the village for a spin. There was a horse path that goes round the village and we decided to take the van for a spin along it. We were having a great time driving around and around. At one point we could see another larger van up ahead and thought it was odd so we reversed and went back the other way. A few seconds later we saw another car blocking the way again so we reversed and went back. Suddenly Stephen realised that the 2 cars belonged to his father and mine! We were caught red handed. Since we knew we were in trouble we just jumped out of the van and ran through the field and back into my house and left the van in the middle of nowhere with the engine running.


5. I was very close to my Grandma and loved her dearly. I saw her nearly every single day of my life until she died when I was 18. She was the epitome of a Grandma: always baking, spoiling us, always ready with a hug. I even slept with her when I stayed at her house and believe me I didn't have to her house had plenty of room but I loved it and she wanted me there in case anything happened. Anything Grandma is a wonderful memory.

6. In the summer time all of the village kids would come to our house and we would sleep in the garden in a tent. (if my dad reads this one I am dead meat)One night my sister woke me up in the middle of the night and said we were going to a walk. I tagged along and found out what great fun it was. Lots of the people had left their washing on the line over night and we switched every ones clothes. That was some good innocent fun I tell ya!


7. I loved taking the dogs on really long walks with my folks. It was so peaceful and fun and I always remember it.


8. This one was from when I was slightly older but I loved, loved, loved going shopping with my mum. I didn't care what we were going for I just loved it.


9. Ours was the house where all the kids would go. My parents never cared if I showed up 3 minutes before dinner asking if someone could stay they always had plenty for all of us. I hope my house will always be that place for Lily and her sister.

10. My sister was often given the job of reading me a bed time story. Sometimes she would make them up instead of reading them and Sally has always made up the best story. One night she told one that was so funny, I still remember it and we laughed so hard that we ended up getting into trouble because we were supposed to be going to sleep. Her storys were the best.

PHEW.....we are doing the HAPPY DANCE

About 3 months ago I posted that my dad was not feeling well and that he has never been sick in his life. He just didn't get better but I haven't mentioned it. One thing just kept leading to another and so on until about 8 weeks ago when his wife told me he was very very poorly and she had never seen him this ill and that he actually marched (I think crawled is a better description) himself back to the DR. My sister rang and was scared to death because in her words, "daddy looks like death warmed over". I spoke to him but it was a bit hard for him to talk as he couldn't breathe. He said that he had a severe chest infection and that he was on mammoth amounts of antibiotics. Well the antibiotics didn't work and then things got really scary as he was coughing up blood. My father is a young 67 but he has smoked since he was about 14 and quite heavily. The blood thing freaked me out but I refused to research anymore at that point. More antibiotics and even stronger this time. I called my cousin who is a fantastic ICU nurse and we chatted and we both agreed it sounded bad. Still he wasn't getting better and they ordered chest x-rays and other tests. (about flipping time I thought) I rang to find out the results and he said he didn't have them and this went on and on. I finally decided to stop ringing as I thought he wasn't telling me the truth as no test results take that long, even on the NHS! Well today he rang me and he sounded better and the conversation blew me away.
Him: I have just had my last MRI and another xray this morning and I am fine. I was told I have lung cancer ( this was what I thought but hearing it gutted me) but I do not. The DR came over to the house 3 weeks ago to give us my results and she told me I had cancer and told me all my options etc etc. So we started with all the tests and I didn't want to tell you because you would worry so we waited until today when I saw the specialist again and he confirmed that it is NOT lung cancer. Jeanne was so relieved that she started to cry, in fact she cried so hard I thought she was disappointed. ( my dad has a sick sense of humour) I still have to have a couple more MRI's but that is all. So don't worry about me cos I am as right as rain. How are you.
Me: umm, I am speechless. Are you sure you are all right? Oh daddy I have been so scared because you were so ill and I thought the worst.
Him: Honestly you and Jeanne worry to much. Apparently she has been worried sick about me.

I love my dad so very much and these past few weeks have been murder. I wanted to stop blogging, I noticed that my comments were rife with typos and I am sick of putting on a brave face. It's a family trait we are born to do it! When his wife rang me tonight we were both stuttering and shaking and oh so relieved. I have cried so much lately that I thought I was out of tears but the ugly cry I did today made me realise you never run out of tears. So now we can plan a wonderful summer with my family in the UK as usual. I told my father I wanted to do something when I got there and in true fatherly style he said, if you want to do it we will. He has always been this way with us, we always got what we wanted from him. So even though he isnt out of the woods completely he doesn't have that ugly disease. Oh, and when I said something about being told he had cancer he said, I knew I didn't I could just tell but I thought if I did I would just have to beat it and that was all there is to it.

So tonight remember to say I love you to those that you do and be thankful for all the little things that you have. Life is short fill it with things and people that matter the most. I am off to bed, I havent slept in weeks and the bags under my eyes are gruesome. Good, and I mean, very good night!

Daddy, would you please try and remember that I am a big girl and I can handle things even bad things and that worrying is what I do so it is better if you tell me and give me a reason to worry rather than let me stew. I am so glad that you are feeling better finally and that you sound like you again. I love you.

Birthdays, Ducks and Birthmother Conversations.

How did this happen? Our little girl turned 5 today. I have no clue where the time has gone and frankly with us as her parents I am amazed that she has made it this far! But she has and she is now 5. Five seems so grown up, she has moved into a whole other realm and it is amazing to see.
She had yet another day of celebrating, pressies, fun times and cake.

This is going to seem like an odd question to most of you but to one person in particular it is going to make sense. Which one of you faithful followers sent the rubber duckies? Lily received a gift of 4 rubber ducks and they are anonymous. I even received an email from Nikki at Life With Lily Lin, to see if she had received them. She claims to be the go between person and not the sender. Well, whoever you are, thank you very much the ducks are very appreciated but I fear one is inebriated as he swims belly side up!

My final conversation with Lily tonight as I was putting her to bed went like this:
Me: 5 yrs ago today in China your birth mother gave you to Daddy and I for ever and ever and for this we are eternally grateful.
Lily: Mommy where is your heart?
Me: Right here (pointing)
Lily: (lent forward and kissed my heart and said), my birth mother lives in your heart right?
Me: Yes
Lily: That kiss is for my birth mother for giving me to you guys. I loved you guys when I was in China and you didn't even know me and I loved you when I was in my birth mothers tummy and I will still love you guys when I am dead!

End of conversation and start of tears. Lily is so sweet and I love her to bits. Happy Birthday you big, big girl! We love you and have loved you forever too and will love you until eternity. As we say to each other every night, I love you with all my heart and then some.

I will leave you with some photos of the day. I am off to try and tidy up the play room and find homes for all these new toys. I see a trip to the charity shop in Lilys future as she has a lot of baby toys that she needs to say Adios, to. If I am not back in a week send a search party and tell them to start in the toy room.

The Mystery Duckys

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A Really Fabulous Pop Up Book


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Sporting Her New Nightie From Aunties, Fran and Shell. (do you really think this will stop the nudey butt scene?)Going on a search for her pressies from us.


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Her New Bike. We have to take off the training wheels cos it came with them on.


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Is it just me or does this Barbie Doll look more like one of the "Girls Next Door". Hey, Heff, I think I have your girlfriend over here!


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The worst singing you have ever heard!


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Getting Serious With Her Cake.


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Out For A Birthday Stroll


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Dinner Out with Mummy


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The Drunken Duckling!


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Childs Play

Lily's actual birthday is in fact tomorrow but in Chinese tradition since we could not have her party on the actual day we had it before. Apparently you never celebrate their birthdays after the actual day always before it and who am I to mess with traditons that are thousands of years old. I am not about to jinx my kid for a whole year.

Since her party is already over and done with tomorrow will be just a quiet day with family and friends. We needed another birthday cake so we decided to make this one and Lily wanted a ladybug one and wanted to do the whole thing herself. It was hard for me to stand back and let her do it but I did and here is the result. I think she did extremely well. (I told you before she was smart)


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I love this photo with her standing in her undies. My kid is NEVER fully dressed....you may have noticed. It's a godd thing we live in a warm climate.

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Lily's Big Day

Yesterday morning we we awoken by a very excited little girl standing at our bedside saying, today is my birthday party. She was beside herself with anticipation and excitement. When she first chose this place for her party I tried to talk her out of it because it was so far away but she wouldn't budge. I told her that her friends wouldn't want to drive so far for a party and that it was a bad idea, she still wouldn't budge so we went with it. With the invitations I had to send maps and website addresses etc etc. Everyone responded yes, and she couldn't wait. The tropical storm that was threatening to wash us away and shot through much faster than expected and we had perfect weather for the whole day.
I didn't get many photos of the kiddies playing in the water because we were with them the whole time and me, a camera and water is not a good combo however Jacob has loads on his camera but it is a new one and we have a new computer and he hasn't figured out how to download them yet.
After the park we stopped for dinner on the way home at her favourite restaurant. We have been going there for years and they know Lily really well so when they found out it was her birthday they dimmed the lights and all the waiters and the family came out to sing happy birthday to her and gave her a cake. Her face was priceless. She had the biggest smile I think I have ever seen, even the other patrons were coming up to us and commenting on her smile. (those photos are on Jakeys camera)

When we finally got home and she opened her gifts she looked at me and said, "Mummy this is the best day of my whole life, thank you". It felt so good to hear that and see that she was so content.
I also apologise for not posting these yesterday but it was such a perfect day that I didn't even think about it.


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Some People Need To Think

Lily and I had to go to the grocery store this afternoon to pick up the last minute stuff for tomorrow. Lily loves going to that Publix cos she loves the girl behind the desk and Kathy loves her too. Whilst Kathy and Lily were exchanging niceties I stood to the side and another girl that I have known for years but who has recently transferred to "my" store came over and we started chatting. I have always liked her and it was nice to see her. She couldn't believe how much the Schnoog had grown, blah blah blah and then she said something that just utterly dumbfounded me.
She said, "did you ever dream that you could love her like your own?"
I nearly got whiplash cos I snapped my neck around so fast and said, "She is MY OWN".

Lily heard this part of the conversation and I know it is something that she will always hear but damn it people use some common frickin' sense. Lily didn't bat an eyelid. She knows full well who she is and who loves her etc etc but it has crippled me for the day.

If I was the swearing type I would say, SHIT. (Oh wait I am and I did!)

I will never forget what my Father said to me at some point on Gotcha Day when I finally found my way to a phone and rang him to say she was ours forever.

Me: Daddy it's me. We finally have her and she is absolutely beautiful.
Him (quite indignantly) : Of course she is beautiful, she is one of us.


The Princess, unscathed by todays comments.


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This Is What Happens When.....

.........when you leave your purse, which contains your camera, on the backseat of the car in perfect reach of an about to be 5 yr old. She takes self portraits!


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This is her nose but on the computer it looks more like her mouth but I can clearly see nose holes.

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Getting Better.

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This is day 2 of Lily's first ever summer break from school and it has rained bucket loads all day. One of my friends called and asked me to go with her to look at a condo she has just rented so off we went. When I told Lily that Jakie and the girls were selling their house and moving into a condo cos their house is to big she actually responded like this, " a house to big? Utter nonsense". Yepper, I nearly died at that one. I was about to ask her where she got that one from but somehow I just knew what the answer would be cos I am always saying, "utter nonsense".

On the way home after I had reclaimed the camera we were sitting at a redlight and she shrieked, look at me, look at me. This is what I saw!

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