PHEW.....we are doing the HAPPY DANCE

About 3 months ago I posted that my dad was not feeling well and that he has never been sick in his life. He just didn't get better but I haven't mentioned it. One thing just kept leading to another and so on until about 8 weeks ago when his wife told me he was very very poorly and she had never seen him this ill and that he actually marched (I think crawled is a better description) himself back to the DR. My sister rang and was scared to death because in her words, "daddy looks like death warmed over". I spoke to him but it was a bit hard for him to talk as he couldn't breathe. He said that he had a severe chest infection and that he was on mammoth amounts of antibiotics. Well the antibiotics didn't work and then things got really scary as he was coughing up blood. My father is a young 67 but he has smoked since he was about 14 and quite heavily. The blood thing freaked me out but I refused to research anymore at that point. More antibiotics and even stronger this time. I called my cousin who is a fantastic ICU nurse and we chatted and we both agreed it sounded bad. Still he wasn't getting better and they ordered chest x-rays and other tests. (about flipping time I thought) I rang to find out the results and he said he didn't have them and this went on and on. I finally decided to stop ringing as I thought he wasn't telling me the truth as no test results take that long, even on the NHS! Well today he rang me and he sounded better and the conversation blew me away.
Him: I have just had my last MRI and another xray this morning and I am fine. I was told I have lung cancer ( this was what I thought but hearing it gutted me) but I do not. The DR came over to the house 3 weeks ago to give us my results and she told me I had cancer and told me all my options etc etc. So we started with all the tests and I didn't want to tell you because you would worry so we waited until today when I saw the specialist again and he confirmed that it is NOT lung cancer. Jeanne was so relieved that she started to cry, in fact she cried so hard I thought she was disappointed. ( my dad has a sick sense of humour) I still have to have a couple more MRI's but that is all. So don't worry about me cos I am as right as rain. How are you.
Me: umm, I am speechless. Are you sure you are all right? Oh daddy I have been so scared because you were so ill and I thought the worst.
Him: Honestly you and Jeanne worry to much. Apparently she has been worried sick about me.

I love my dad so very much and these past few weeks have been murder. I wanted to stop blogging, I noticed that my comments were rife with typos and I am sick of putting on a brave face. It's a family trait we are born to do it! When his wife rang me tonight we were both stuttering and shaking and oh so relieved. I have cried so much lately that I thought I was out of tears but the ugly cry I did today made me realise you never run out of tears. So now we can plan a wonderful summer with my family in the UK as usual. I told my father I wanted to do something when I got there and in true fatherly style he said, if you want to do it we will. He has always been this way with us, we always got what we wanted from him. So even though he isnt out of the woods completely he doesn't have that ugly disease. Oh, and when I said something about being told he had cancer he said, I knew I didn't I could just tell but I thought if I did I would just have to beat it and that was all there is to it.

So tonight remember to say I love you to those that you do and be thankful for all the little things that you have. Life is short fill it with things and people that matter the most. I am off to bed, I havent slept in weeks and the bags under my eyes are gruesome. Good, and I mean, very good night!

Daddy, would you please try and remember that I am a big girl and I can handle things even bad things and that worrying is what I do so it is better if you tell me and give me a reason to worry rather than let me stew. I am so glad that you are feeling better finally and that you sound like you again. I love you.