30 Apr 2009

Special Needs Versus Non Special Needs. Updated

That is it, I am at the end of my rope with the nasty fricken comments. This will be a rant. It probably won't be very polite so if you are easily offended I strongly recommend you stop reading right now.

When we chose to start a family through adoption we decided with our first child to choose a healthy baby girl. We were naive. We wanted the world and we went for it. Thankfully after a very long wait we were handed the world. Lily is a perfectly healthy child and has filled our lives with joy beyond our wildest dreams. She is everything to us.

When we jumped back on to the adoption rollercoaster a few years later we consider a special needs child right from the inception of our journey. We knew that many of the defects, diseases and disorders that China considers SN are truly nothing to be overly concerned about. At the beginning of the journey we spoke to our agency about this but we didn't do a live broadcast as we felt it was something that was our business and not public fodder.

As the wait grew longer and longer we perused the lists and finally we found our daughter. Yes, she was our daughter. It took us a long time. At one point we gave up as we felt she wasn't there and we were supposed to wait for her to be matched with us. But on that fateful day we found her, we saw her face and we knew. I cannot explain to you how we knew other than by saying she evoked the exact same feelings deep within us that her sister had done 5 years earlier. Rosie was right there staring back at us. She was ours.

At that point I would easily get 30-40 comments daily on my blog but once we announced that we had a daughter (12 months ahead of the queue) my comments dropped to 5 or 6. We were sent one or 2 emails about how we had jumped the line.  We were shell shocked. WTF? This little girl with her heart condition who was sitting all this time in an orphanage in China with nobody to love her had finally found her family and all these people could think of was that we had beaten them to the finish line. Give me a break you selfish jerks.

Today, over 12 months later, we received yet another accusatory email from someone in our original group stating how they were one of only 3 families who had stayed the course and bought home "their" babies home at the right time.

Does it really matter when we travel? I know the wait is endless and the ride is bumpy but in the end our children come home to loving families and that should be the focus of the journey not whether someone with a LID later that yours gets to go first. We found our little girl and somehow were supposed to walk away from her because some people felt it wasn't our time. When you have your child in your arms I hope with all my heart that you will understand how shallow you were being.

Grow up and put love in your heart and not jealousy because if that is what you are going to teach your children then quite honestly you do not deserve to parent a child.

Rant over. Fa la la la la

Update...I wrote this earlier when I was really ticked off and have since calmed down a little. I am still fed up with the nasty comments. Jacob is really annoyed about them and heaven help anyone that make one directly to him.  Rose was meant for us, and us for her, end of story, full stop. I am turning off the comments. I don't want to hear anymore about this, I am fried.

24 Apr 2009

Rosie Update

Today was Rosie's follow up appointment with the gastroenterologist. Since the last time we were with her she told me the only scales that matter right now with regard to Rosie's weight are hers, I have not bothered weighing her so I was really anxious to find out how much she had gained or lost. Jacob weighed her at the supermarket about a week ago and obviously she was fully clothed and according to those scales she had lost more weight if we took into consideration her clothes and diaper. I watched her climb the stairs the other evening en route to the bath and her little bum looked a bit more beefy than before so I was hoping for a slight gain. After waiting for an hour and a half (which really pissed me off as I have better things to do than spend that much time doing nothing) we finally got to see the Dr.

Miss Rosie Posie has managed to pack a whopping 6 ounces on to her scrawny little frame in the last 6 weeks and she has grown half an inch! Now this might not sound like earth shattering amounts but the key word in that sentence was, "on", in other words she gained weight rather than lost it so we are all very happy. All of the test results came back negative so we have now ruled out any chronic childhood diseases which of course has made me rather giddy. The next sentence out of the Dr's mouth almost made me jump up and down....I don't have to take any more samples to the lab. Yeehaw on that one. Honestly people I am sick of, and please excuse my French, lugging shit across town! I cannot count how many samples I have delivered to the lab but it is way to many. I am probably known as the poo lady by the techs there.

Rosie has another follow up exam in 8 weeks and if her weight gain remains at this slow and steady pace then we will be done but if not then it is time for more testing. Rosie is still having alot of low grade fevers but the diner-reeney as it is called in this house appears to be getting a bit better. So it was all good news and Fatsoe, as she has been called all day long, is once again on the charts for her weight even if she is only in the 3rd percentile. Rosie now weighs 22.9lbs and is 34 inches tall and will be 27 months old next week. I think I am going to change her nickname to Goliath.

18 Apr 2009


Why on Gods green earth is it called a sleep over when we all know that the last thing kids really want to do is sleep?

Since our friend H is recovering from her skiing accident that led to her 8 hours of surgery we decided to kidnap her kidlets on Friday night and bring them down here to play and have an un-sleepover. A little fun and silliness is just what they needed and a lot of rest and relaxation is just what their Mama needed so it was a win win situation. And if I started to lose my sanity I could always find a quite corner and a bottle of wine.

As soon as Lily finished her homework on Friday afternoon we hightailed it to the car and went on our kidnapping mission. We weren't really kidnapping since I had arranged everything with "H" beforehand. We flew in picked up the girls left my car parked in her driveway and and I left in hers. I needed something a bit bigger than a CRV. Since all the kids are under the age of 10 it involves a whole lot of car seats and the logistics of that cannot be squished into a CRV. We drove away and never looked back. We were determined to make this an adventure.

The girls all get along so well and can play for hours without any bother at all which never ceases to amaze me as they range in age from 2-9. By 10pm I thought they needed to go to bed as we had a busy day planned for today so up the stairs we trundled. I tucked them all in, kissed them goodnight and left the room only to hear side splitting laughter about 3 seconds later. They finally went to sleep at some point and I had to take a photo cos they just looked so lovely. I made Lily's bed and trundle bed into a king for them so that they could all sleep together but they decided they wanted our bed instead??? I wasn't going to argue because I am a pushover and was somewhat out numbered with 5 of them and 1 of me so that is where they slept and Jacob and I had Lily's bedroom....no biggie at all. (I spared Rosie from this madness and she was in the safety of her crib)

There were four in the bed and the little one said....
How the heck can anyone get any sleep at all in this tangled up mess?

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It doesn't matter how you look at it there just doesn't seem to be enough room.

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They woke up at some unearthly hour all giggly and we started the day just where it left off. Rosie took an early nap and then we all headed out for the rest of the day to the American Airline#s family picnic. My lord the girls didn't stop. They rode every ride, more than once, ate so much cotton candy it became one with their hair, they climbed rock walls, rode mini roller coasters, little trains, jumped in bounce houses and ate!

Let the fun begin because we are ready.

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Everybody needs a leaning post.

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That crazy daddy took 2 girls down the slide at once!

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We finally put five very tired little girls back in the car and came home. We ate dinner and then gave all of them a bath. Bathing 5 kids involves tidal waves and tsunami's, more bubbles and soap than I ever could of imagined and a whole lot of silliness. Everyone put on their jimjams and we got back in the car again and took them home. It is just mind boggling how long it takes to get 5 girls in and out of the car. Actually getting to the point of being ready to get in the car is monumental. We all had a really fun time. Three out of the five were asleep before we got back to H's house at 7pm. Rosie managed to stay awake and ran in the house like she owned it but she didn't stay awake for the ride back home.

It was a great time. I wish the circumstances were different but life is what it is. Oh and that bottle of wine never did get opened and I only finished half of the Valium I prescribed myself.

12 Apr 2009

Happy Easter

Wow that Easter Bunny arrives early in the morning and he just loves to bring lots and lots of sugary treats for girls and boys to get them bouncy bouncy before 7am....oh brother what is a mother to do!

Daddy calls it revenge of the kidlets because for once they can actually keep up with me.

After the sugar rush had subsided just a little we piled into the car and went over to see our friends Ed and Jen and joined them for breakfast and waited to see if the Easter Bunny would show up and decorate their court yard with lots more Easter goodness for the kidlets to find. He didn't disappoint. In fact he went overboard. Lily even found an egg from last year or possibly the year before...it was a little petrified so we threw it far far away.

The egg hunters
hunter 1

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hunter 2

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The hunting trio

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Look Mama, look, I found one

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Ed, Evan, Jenny, Me, Lily, Jacob and Rosie

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The 4 Copes

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And just for fun here is a photo from last year...someone wasn't (A) very happy and (B) very big. I loved that photo then and I love it even more now cos I can see just how far my little peanut has come even if she has only gained 6 lame pounds...sigh.

On a side note. We found out last night that our friend "H" was in a nasty skiing accident and is in hospital in Denver. If you need anything let us know and in the the meantime we love you and smooches to you.

10 Apr 2009

Hodge Podge

This is yet another post of me leaping from one topic to another in no particular order just so that I can cover yet another weeks worth of news in one go! Whatever happened to spare time?

This has been an amazing week in the adoption world with quite a few families that I have watched for the past 3 years finally receive their referrals and I have shed quite a few happy tears for them. Congrats to them all on their gorgeous baby girls and also to the families who are in China now.

I have not had a migraine in over 3 weeks! This is monumental news. I have gone back on a medicine I took a few years ago. It stopped wroking so I stopped taking it but it is working this time and I am in heaven. (kina hora, salt over my shoulder, send a donation to Marc's Uncle Howard's Rabbi) Three flipping weeks OMG this is really amazing I have my life back and my family has me back. If anyone is interested it is T0pamax and I take it daily to prevent them. I know longer like chocolate which is strange and am losing weight which isn't good but what the heck I haven't had a headache so I can deal with it.

Lily is on Spring Break and I am loving it. On Tuesday we were meant to meet up with some friends at the zoo at 10.30, at 10.36 I looked at the clock and realised we were never going to make it as were all still in our jammies. We did get there, at 2.30, I think we were late! We have been so lazy. It is heavenly not to be dashing about at 7.00am getting ready for school. Bring on the long summer holidays!

The kidlets and I went to the beach today but it was cold. The sun was shining but there was noway I going in the water much to their chagrin. I dabbled my toes in but that was it. All the pleading in the world wouldn't change my mind.

One chilly willy

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the other chilly willy

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One frozen stiff chilly willy

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After we ate lunch we came home and dyed some eggs. Letting Rosie near food dye made me antsy and I failed to take photos until they were done but the final products looked like this and they had so much fun.

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I have decided not to attack anymore of the furniture until after spring break because I am spending time with the girls and I don't want to keep ditching them to go and stain this or sand that. So for now here are the before and after shots of what I have done so far. Actually I didn't take any before shots since the stuff was already in the house so I assumed I had photos of it but after scanning through kazillions of photos for the past hour it appears I only have some things. Oh well.

This is the storage system for the kidlets toys that we bought at Ike*a a month ago that started this staining epidemic. All because I really love the colour of it.

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This was the T.V unit the way it used to look

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This is it now

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The hall table and mirror now. They also used to be a light pine. Excuse the funky easter stuff. I give the girlies free reign on the easter decorating

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This bookcase was also very light. This cheesy kid keeps appeariing in all these photos.!

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The kitchen table before. We always kept it covered with a table cloth and only took it off when we ate. I know that is opposite to most poeple but it just looked odd in here. Now we never put a cloth on it! This table gave me fits and at one point it was loaded into the back of my SUV and was on the way to the tip. My father was my sounding board and even he got sick and tired of me but I did it, I beat the bugger! I gave up ringing my father as he was starting to show signs of wear. LOL.

And now

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Once this project is done I think we will be done with this house so it really will be time to move and I can start from scratch or as Lily says, start from scrap! She came home from school the other day and told me that they made pancakes.....from scrap. I nearly peed myself I laughed so hard. I bet they were really tough to chew!


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