morning commute

Many people dread their commute to work everyday and that is understandable as for most it means nothing more than being stuck in traffic for hours at a time. I am not one of those people. Fortunately my commute to work changes depending on the day of the week, it never involves highways and typically I miss rush hour by hours.

I sit in traffic, if it is going to happen, for 5 blocks and then I zoom off of the main drag and take the back roads to where I am going. i really don't care if it is a couple of miles longer becasue if the view is a pretty one and the traffic is light I am one happy camper. My alter ego comes out while I am drivng so pretty is always good.

I get to see some things that always make me smile. Some I call the familiar strangers, people that you recognize because you see them over and over again but don't actually know: the bare foot asian man who is always walking near the Falls, the man who walks a really big ugly dog, that just happens to look like it's owner. I even recognise some cars because of the crazy paint job on them.

At least 3 days a week I see these. Sometimes they hold up traffic, other times they give me a heart attack as they kamikaze out of a palm tree slightly ahead of my car and occasionally they intimidate me, as they gather in the driveway of a clients house, sometimes numbering upwards of a dozen and I am convinced they will attack me.

I count my blessings to see them on a frequent basis. Whether they scare me or just walk by they always make me smile in the end, how can you not?

But without a shadow of a doubt the thing that makes me smile the most on my commute is this: It is a lousy photo cos I was at a red light and it changed just as the bus got close enough. It was raining this morning but usually the dogs are all sticking their heads out of the window. You can't help but smile, really you cant. This doggie Bus has been featured on television and even in National Geographic Kids. My girls were thrilled when it showed up in their magasines. All those waggy tails and flapping ears just makes you happy. I think my brother in law should get a school bus instead of his plain, white, ever so English looking, white van. Yepper, I love my commute.

Glass half full

It's shortly after 10pm on an evening that has followed a rather taxing day. I would like the day to be over but I still have a a few things to do and that's OK. I just walked over to the kitchen sink and noticed a puddle of water in front of the dishwasher. I cleaned it up and chose to think that it wasn't coming from under the dishwasher as that would be annoying and not part of my master plan. I went away and came back.

So did the puddle.

I now have a dishwasher in the middle , well not quite the middle, of the kitchen floor as it is still plugged in. I stared at it for a few minutes before attacking it with my screwdriver and wondering what to do next. I remember the contractor saying something or other when we re-did the kitchen about, this hose here, and this one going there, but that's about all. 

The good news is that the puddle was leaking under the dishwasher and and not out from under. One of the girls must have spilt some water before they went to bed. They spilt it so close that some went under it. When I cleaned it up more must have seeped out.

Now I have to work out how the dickens to get the dishwasher back in and the front plates back on. But that's fine with me cos it's not leaking and that is all I care about. 

Yay for crappy days ending on a high note......and not needing flood pants.

Dream a little dream with me

Image courtesy of Google Images

Recently I have become a really bad sleeper. It must run in my family as my sister is dreadful but I used to be fabulous. Now 4 hours is great nights rest. I have never been much of a dreamer but I have always had weird dreams where I think I am awake.

I can tell you everything that is going on around me, I can hear people talking, feel the bed move when someone gets in it, feel the kids touching me etc etc and I open my eyes and even see them but then it turns out it's all a dream.

More times than not those dreams involve someone being in the house, an intruder and I get scared to death, petrified in fact. I have had these type of dreams my entire life and it happened again last night. We had a cold snap move in so I actually went to sleep with the bathroom window open a little bit as opposed to the usual which is everything sealed up tight as a drum and the a/c on.

I woke up (at least I thought I had) because I heard someone walking in the hallway so I listened to see which kiddie it was and waited for them to come in the room. They didn't appear. I reached over and glanced at the clock and was surprised to see I had only just fallen asleep, it was 12.40. I then heard footsteps again so I looked at the door and was surprised to see it was open, I always push it closed but not shut. Then I got scared. I just lay really still and waited and waited, wide awake. No one moved. I got up and went into the bathroom and then checked on the kids, and I know I did this and then got back into bed. I left my door open and a few minutes later it was closed again. By this time I am am nearly paralysed from fear. My heart was beating so loud that I was surprised that I didn't wake up the girls, 2 rooms away.

I finally went back to sleep after convincing myself that no one was in the house and that everything was fine.

I woke up this morning and everything was fine but dammit I am sure it wasn't a dream. Urghh. Does this happen to anyone else?

 I also woke up with a freaking twitch in my lip from getting so stressed out. I looked a bit like Elvis. Lily thought it was hilarious.

#%&

Next Thursday is Thanksgiving people. The official kick off of the American holiday season. There is no turning back and just because my bright red passport identifies me as a foreigner I live here in a house with full fledged Americans so I have to get with it. I must pull my head out of the sand and start liberally shouting, Gobble till you wobble and Ho Ho Ho.

I am so not ready for this, this year. I thought I was going to be better prepared and feeling festive but I'm not. The festive part I can pull off in a second but the prepared part is out of control and so not happening. #%&*

I had the best intentions. I meant to send all my gifts that needed to go back to the UK back with my sister when she left but I failed to buy them. I just cannot get my head around the fact that Christmas is just around the corner. Seriously how can it be? Wasn't it only just here? My sister was here for Halloween. Halloween happens in October so there must be loads of time and she only left one week ago today.

I can only hope that by next Thursday the commercials on T.V. will have moved me into overdrive and instead of sleeping through the night I will be out shopping with all the other nutcases in the wee hours of Black Friday.

The girls have asked that we not host Thanksgiving this year and their reason made me laugh. My children do not like the fact that on Thanksgiving day we eat our meals in reverse order. The large meal is eaten at lunch time and the small meal eaten later. To them that is wrong. plain. and. simple. It messes with their heads and they both detest it. 

I'd better go and start writing a list and checking it twice of course. On second thoughts how can it possibly be Thanksgiving next week that's just absurd. 

Scams

Every now and again I hear about various scams that are going around. I see things posted on Facebook that say please repost this but I never do because i always think the same thing, who in their right mind would ever fall for such a crock of sh*t.

Today my bestie fell for such a crock of sh*t. She received a phonecall first thing this morning saying that her freind, using his name, had been in an accident and that he was badly hurt and they had taken him to the local hospital. A long story unfolded and various names of people she knows were tossed around. The story, was believable and she went to get money and wire it to where they said. Yes I know it sounds absurd, it sounds absurd to her too now but she was so worried about her friend. At one point as she was just running into the ER to see him and her phone cut out. She had been one the phone with the scam artist the whole time, they don't let you hang up. That was the chance she was hoping for she quickly called the friends number, the one who was supposedly in the ER and he answered and said he was fine and at home!!!

Her other line was ringing so she answered it and it was him again, the scammer, she knew right there and then what was going on. She back peddled, he threatened her, told her he was watching her. She mustered up enough courage to do what she had to do.

Thankfully she went to the police. They weren't shocked. It's a huge ring. Now she has surveillance at her house. I'm her bestie so my cars plates have been turned over so that I can go to and from her house willy nilly without being shot at, I mean without raising suspicion.

She got her money back, she acted so fast that she was able to stop the transaction. She is embarrassed and humiliated. I still love her.

Luciana, if you read this post, please re post on your facebook page about this scam. It happened to a friend of yours here in an attorneys office and this time I WILL repost it. I googled the number that called her and OMG you should read what they had to say.

So if you do hear about a scam going about DO TELL people about it. I heard about this very one and assumed that no one in their right mind would fall for it. That's what happens when you ASSume.

I just don't even bother answering my phone if I don't recognise the number, which considering I run my own business probably isn't very business savvy but I'm starting to think it's pretty darned smart.

Send a woman to do the job

Sometimes I shock even myself. I know that I am fiercely independent and I also know that I am horrifically stubborn. If I had the choice I would probably choose not to live with myself  as I know I am a pain to live with but alas this is not a choice I am given I am stuck with me. I want things done now, or better yet yesterday. I want things done right the first time and I want them done neatly, very very neatly.

Today I found a mechanic to work on my car and not just any mechanic but my friends husband. Now I know my car will be taken care of properly. I know I can trust him and he won't do a bunch of silly rubbish just because I'm a girl. I almost needed smelling salts when I found out how much it would cost but after 60,000 miles in 4 years and nothing being done I am a little in need of this work so not much I can do about it. At least now it will run properly and last for a few more years.

Hah ha ha. I did it, I entered the nasty world of all things men and smelly and came out smelling like a rose. Oh and did I mention that he works for the dealer where I bought my car. Oh it's good to have friends and better yet it's good to have a car with brakes!


I will return to regularly scheduled programming tomorrow but for now I'm gloating, just a tad.

That was silly of me

Whilst my BIL was here he casually mentioned, while standing next to my car, that next time I had my car at the shop I needed to ask them to look at my brakes. He then pointed out to me where they looked a bit thin. I have never taken my car to get it worked on, ever. Jacob has always done it and prior to that my Father did it. I actually never knew cars needed oil...yes I know that's pretty lame but my Father made sure our cars were in tip top condition for us at all times and that pretty much included keeping the petrol tanks full too.

Today I stepped into the mens world. I drove my car to the nasty world of oil changes etc and told the guy that we use that I needed an oil change and would he please look at my brakes. I told him they looked a bit thin but I thought they would be OK for a little longer. He told me he would inspect them for free and gave me $10 off the price of the oil change. I left there feeling quite impressed and walked the 2 miles home while the girls rode their bikes.

An hour later we rode/walked/ran back the 2 miles to the nasty world of oil changes to pick up my car and was was told a whole laundry list of things that were wrong with my car. Apparently Jacob doesn't believe in preventative maintenance and the big man in charge of nasty oil change place  didn't want me to think he was taking advantage of me so he dragged me and my 2 innocent children into his den of yuck and showed me all the problems with my car first hand. Apparently it is important to change air fliters before they grow green mold and have more crap on them than a Dyson collection drum. Ohhh, who knew. Apparently it isn't OK to ignore the scheduled maintenance and just change the oil, brakes and tyres. nope. not. at. all.

I signed some papers, agreed to get started and walked home, but not with such a spring in my step and definitely not with as much money in my wallet. The girls went off for the day with their dad and I waited for the phone call to say my car was ready.

I finally got to walk back to the nasty world of oil changes and picked up my car and was told, oh we found a nail in your tyre, so we fixed it for you, but didn't charge you. I think I mumbled thank you, at least I hope I did. I came home and spoke to my BIL and he told me all sorts of things including how my gas mileage will improve now. About an hour later I received an urgent call from a client so I went to work and stopped and got gas on the way. I didn't think twice about it until I was nearly home and when I look down at my MPG it was 10 miles more than before. Aha, a silver lining.

I think I am going to bury my head in the sand or perhaps become a grease monkey so that I can do this stuff myself. This coming week I have to finish what I started. I'm dreading it. If anyone knows an honest mechanic in Miami let me know. I need one. I'm even more scared of the dealer than I am of the place I went today. Oh I drive a Honda.

Oh and my car smells funky now too. Not in bad way but it just does. Must be the fresh air I can smell. Or perhaps the something or other rods or struts or god knows what. My head is going to implode. Those places are dirty and germy too....gag.

I think my car feels violated I looked under it knickers.

Irony

As the man that lives in this house spends more and more of his life asleep I am spending less and less. My sister has suffered from insomnia for years, the girl does not sleep AT ALL. I on the other hand have never had a problem I just fall into bed, put my head on my pillow and I  know nothing of the world until my alarm clock raises it's ugly voice at 6.00am.

Never had a problem until recently, that is. The sleep crapnea machine has brought with it a kazillion weird and oh so loud noises and prior to that there was the incredible snoring. It's not so much the machine, more the mask and how it sounds when he moves and it gets squished off of his face.  I also have a few things going on in my head that are causing me to to be on an apparent "high alert" status so if any one thing wakes me up regardless of the time, I am up for the day.

I can honestly say I have no idea how my sister functions. 3 hours of sleep is not normal. I have started drinking coffee again just to make it from end of the day to the other. Seeing the man of the house asleep on the chair, couch, bed or anywhere for that matter just compounds my frustrations and makes my sleeping even worse.

Hah, not one to lose my sense of humour I have taken to photographing him napping! He napped today for over 6 hours.....that's more sleep than I have had in total for the past 2 nights.

My kids are even getting fed up with it. Off to find some earplugs that will keep the evil crapnea machine at bay. Night all.

What a peculiar man

Having lived in this part of the world for as long as I have nothing should faze me anymore however every now and again something comes along that just simply catches me off guard. Today was one of those days.

When the girls have swimming their classes overlap for 30 minutes and I have free time, (woohoo) where I get to natter with a couple of the other mums who I really really like. We laugh our freaking heads off. Tonight one of "us" couldn't make it so it was just Janen and me when she suddenly said, "look at the fool in the pool with the snorkel". At first I couldn't see him but then I found him. It's not that hard to spot a bright green snorkel in a pool of yellow swim caps. I laughed as it just seemed downright silly. We both figured that once the coach caught him that would be it. As I stared I realised it was an old, old bald guy with a full grey beard and not a kid from the class. I pointed this out to Janen and said something along the lines of Santa Claus being in the pool. We immediately started texting our missing Sista.

As he is swimming Coach is ordering all the kids out of that lane. He is making them get out of the pool.. Old guy offers to move out of the way but coach says, No, it's fine his kids will move and he just moves them all over a lane. Janen and I are laughing hysterically and I was given the job to get a picture to text to the missing Sista.

You have to picture this in your mind. This is an Olympic size pool with lifeguards every(freaking)where who, if you as much as think about doing something, blow their whistles and there is this old geezer just swimming along. I pointed out that it was a good thing he was swimming with the lane lines and not against them as that would have caused quite a traffic jam. The lifeguards are doing nothing, nada, butkas and security who is always, Johhny on the spot is nowhere to be found.

I head over to the edge of the pool all casually with my phone in hand, I figured the big camera might be a bit of a giveaway and snap a photo of the snorkler dude. Seconds after I walk back he climbs out and towels off. He isn't even wearing a bathing suit he has on athletic shorts tied on with a piece of string, WTF? Janen and I were crying we were laughing so hard. It was all made so much funnier by the texts coming back from absent Sista, Jodie.

Really, my life is never ever dull.

I can't make this stuff up so here is the photo to prove it.

In the end I determined he was checking for sharks. You aren't laughing are you? hmmm, I guess you had to be there.
It was handled so well by the big boss coach that the kids weren't even aware that he was there. Well obviously the kids that had to move out of his way knew he was there but all of the others were oblivious.

Confession Time.

This post spans back a couple of decades and is humiliating.

Shortly after Jakey and I were married he had a job that involved him travelling occasionally and before one particular trip I told him that I had picked up all of the dry cleaning so if he needed any of it for his upcoming trip not to wear it. I then left the house and went to work and later that day he stopped by to see me. I was mortified when he walked in and I saw what he was wearing. Jacob used to do alot of print and T.V work. He had done a couple of commercials, a few movies and he knew how to dress but that day he looked like a freak. I asked him what had happened and he said he didn't think anything was wrong with his choices and that he didn't want to to take what he was wearing him with him on the trip. I can still remember what he had on and the colours were scary. He also still remembers and says they were fine.

Following this fashion disaster I made him take the ishihara colour blind test and to my total surprise he passed it.

A few months ago we were sitting down on the couch one evening being utterly silly on Faceb*ok when he came across the colour blind test. His friends were all doing it so he decided to take it too. I was looking over his shoulder whilst doing my own stuff so I thought I would help him out, cos as I have said he is colour blind! He was doing ok but at one point he faltered so I helped and whaddaya know, with my help he got the answer wrong. We laughed, he ribbed me and that was the end. He did get a lot of flack from his friends though.

A few months passed and we were at a friends house and she is colour blind and we were talking about it so Jacob pulled up the test on the computer again. This time a group of us gathered around and we all set to it. I started reading out the numbers and everyone start roaring with laughter. I am doing sort of OK but struggling like h*ll with some of them. Some don't even have numbers in at all.

You get where this is going don't you. After all these years it isn't my husband that is colour blind it is me. It was the funniest moment. We laughed so very hard. I can see most colours. But some of them escape me. The funniest thing of all is that I have decorated the house, I have dressed my hubby for years because I have sworn he is colour blind but in fact it is me. I am not bad I think I am only missing a couple of photo receptors because I can make out nearly every colour but some just are not there.

Lily is having a great time with this and will not let me dress her any more or even buy her clothes. For the longest time I have owned a pair of pants that I have sworn were brown but everyone else has said are green....I guess they are green...who knew. Ditto a shirt I said was pink, they said it's peach, I hate peach and wouldn't be caught dead in peach.....that one is gone. Andie, you said it was peach, not sure if you remember. So if I wear some god awful outfits feel free to let me know I will gladly get rid of them.

Colour me surprised! My husband is gloating and I had to write this post cos if I didn't he would!

I Hope "They" Aren't Reading This !

Every now and again on some board somewhere you always hear about how the CCAA reads blogs and yahoo groups to see what we are all up to. Well, I don't know if it is true or not but I just hope that they are not reading this.

Since yesterdays post was a little serious and from the heart I will resume my usual B.S. in hopes of making you realise I have no standards at all.

Every now and again, sometimes more frequently than that, as a parent you have a moment that makes you wonder what right you have to raise a child because you screw things up. For us it is never anything serious, just things that we say by mistake or things that we do by accident.

Take last night for example: Lily asked if she could go to sleep in our bed, I said, "ask Daddy" and he said, "if mummy says yes". So I told her she could go to sleep in our bed but I was gong to move her into her own bed before we went to sleep. So at 10.00ish I went upstairs to move her and I picked her up in my arms and as I went to stand up I realised that she had twisted the sheets around her legs so I had to tug and wiggle her a bit. She came free rather unexpectedly and I ended up swinging her head into the lamp on my nightstand and knocking it flying!! She didn't even wake up so I staggered into her room virtually gasping for air cos I was laughing so hard. Great mothering skills, I have!

It isn't as if this is the first time I have thought , geesh, someone gave me this child to love and protect and I have just done X.Y, or Z to her. Whilst we were still in China she was very cranky one afternoon and when a travel mate came into the room carrying candy and Lily nearly removed his arm to get some of it and that was when I/we realised we had completely forgotten to feed her any lunch! I know that is pretty bad.

Recently we were in the car coming home from the beach and it was a rare occasion that I was driving and Jacob was yipping to Lily about all the things that live in the ocean. He was just getting around to talking about single celled organisms but in true Jacob style he muddled his words and told her about single celled orgas*ms. (don't want that little ditty showing up on a google search). I just cracked up laughing and he wasn't sure why so I had to try to tell him but I was laughing so hard that I blurted out the other word really loud so then he is roaring and Lily is in the back asking in her most serious voice what is an "O" and why is it so funny. I ended up pulling the car off of the road cos I just couldn't see where I was going.

So we get the parent of the year award over and over again. Those are only 3 that come to mind right now but I know that there are hundreds more just like that. Tell me we aren't the only ones....please.

Have a great day and hug your little ones, it will help to make up for all the ooops that you have had.

Scared Silly

Most nights I am alone in the house as Jacob usually gets home very late. It doesn't bother me and I don't even give it a second thought. At the moment he is out of town so it is just the Lil and I night and day, nothing new there either and it doesn't faze me, well not ordinarily. For some stupid reason last night when I decided to go to bed I made my self all nervous. I don't remember how it began but I remember checking the locks before I went upstairs and then coming down again a few minutes later to check they were ALL locked again.
I peeked around the house in that childish, "I am all brave and nothing can scare me" kind of way and headed back upstairs. I checked on Lily again and headed to our room. Some noise scared the crap out of me and my heart started to beat out of my chest. I knew I was being utterly silly but I had passed the point of no return so I made a mad dash to Lilys room grabbed her out of her bed and flung her into bed with me and locked the door. Through all of that she didn't wake up. It took me forever to fall asleep cos I could hear at least 90 axe murderers creeping around the house. I apparently fell asleep at some point and was awoken this morning by a little voice saying, "Hey, how did I get in to your bed?" Then she lent over and gave me a kiss.

By the morning light everything seemed OK and all is well in Dawnsworld again.

Sleep Deprived Daddy

Jacob works until quite late at night so in the mornings I get up and get Lily ready for school. He always gets up for a good bye hug and kiss but other than that he is dormant. This morning was the same as usual and as I went upstairs to shower I said to Lily, as I always do, "no shouting, if you need me come and get me because daddy is asleep."

I had been in the shower for about 10 minutes when I heard a huge din. The next thing the bathroom door opens up followed by a bash, crash, thud sound as Lily appears with one of her little chairs (which by the way she had carried upstairs with her) a sheet of paper and a crayon. Now I am watching all of this through a steamy shower door and trying not to laugh. She announces in a very LOUD voice that she is taking a survey. I ask what it is all about and she says, food, and proceeds to yell, "who in this room loves pizza?" I told her we both did so she marks it down and the questions continue until I am out of the shower. She continues to shout and move her chair about thumping it into anything and everything. Jacob never said a word he just let her continue and I whisked her our of the room as fast as possible. She is just so cute that I can't get over her.

Last week one day I was creeping around and being nice and quiet because it was early and Jacob was still asleep when I had to go to school for a meeting so I quietly shut the door and got in my car. As I inched backwards I noticed my car was making a funny noise but I couldn't really hear it to well and thought once I got out of the driveway I would be able to pick up some speed and really hear where it was coming from. So I reversed a bit more and the noise got louder. I was a bit concerned but just wanted to add some speed to the equation so I gunned it. The loud noise got much worse and was followed by bottles rolling, cans tumbling and a few other noises that you hear when you have just run over the recycling bin!!! The front door opened and there stood Jacob with the biggest smile on his face and all he said was, "I'll get that Honey, don't worry about a thing." And then of course because we are us we just cracked up laughing. As I drove off I saw him in my rear view mirror cleaning up the neighbourhood.

Thank goodness my hubby doesn't need much sleep and always wakes up in a good mood.

The Accidental Painting......gulp.

A few years ago Jacob had a Harley. Not just a little bitty girlie one but a big arse serious one.The one in the photo is not his but it was this model and in those colours however Jacobs had spokes, louder and bigger pipes and about 50 million other chromed accessories.( I am too darned lazy to go crawling into the cupboard under the stairs to find the rubbermaid with the photos in) He had that thing all dressed up and loved it very much. I loved it too. He had his first bike at 16 but that love affair ended very fast after he had a really bad accident and nearly had to have his leg amputated....Mama said no more!

So zoom forwards a few years and the bike is in the garage which had a better alarm system on it than our house because H.D. theft is a big business. We had spent the morning doing yardwork which in Jacobland means chop it down to the bare minimum so that you don't have to do it again for months and he had driven off to the dump to get rid of all the yard clippings. I meandered into the garage and noticed a lamp that I had been meaning to spray paint. It was an old halogen that matched nothing in the house so I thought since it worked fine that maybe it could come back into the house if it was a different colour. I found an old towel and placed it on the floor and thought I would just test the paint on the base of the lamp since I was busy doing yardwork. Well, the paint went on well and I stood back to admire it and thought, hmm, I wonder how it will look when it is done. So, being me and not paying attention to anything other than the project at hand I started to spray the pole thingy. I used large sweeping motions and went around and around the stupid lamp. ( note the lamp is stupid, it couldnt be me right?) I then took a step back off of the towel to admire my handy work and when I went to move my foot was stuck to a tacky floor. (stupid paint didn't remember to land on the towel). As I looked down I realised what I had done and with break neck speed I snapped my neck around to check, Betsy, (yes, the bike had a name) and I went cold with fear. It was covered, so too was everything else inthe garage including the wall, some tools, the lawn mower.....you get the picture.

I immediately closed the garage door and started to wipe the paint off. This particular paint had to have an acrylic finish put on it so I had a chance of getting it off if I was fast. That was when I realised how much paint was on the bike, oh yes, it was in every little chromed detail and all over his leathers as well. I panicked and started smearing the paint around cos it was not coming off easily. After about 20 minutes I heard Jacobs car pull into the driveway. I knew he would head into the garage first cos he was filthy and wouldn't enter through the front door so I ran to the side yard and begged him to go in the front door. He asked me what I had done and I declared innocence and begged him to just go and shower. He would not relent and finally I confessed. He ran into the garage to me promising I could fix it. He walked out and jokingly picked me up by my shirt at the neck and held me against the wall and said, fix it woman and then walked off. I swear he was smiling when he did that and he came back a few minutes later and started polishing chrome. Up until the day we sold the house we never did manage to get the paint off the floor and the walls. Thank god he has a sense of humour....I think you need one being married to me. Jacob seems to remember that day very clearly, it comes up in conversation alot around here but he always tells the story with a huge smile and his head shaking back and forth as if to say....you, my dear wife, are a moron. As for the lamp, it went to the dump shortly after!

Ahhhh, life in Dawnland! Now youv'e read it fess up!