The Long Version

To Jacob and I it seems like forever ago that we started our journey to China. It was an easy decision for us but one that followed many years of heartache. We knew when we were married that we would be parents we just didn't know back then just how hard that would be for the 2 of us. After a few brief encounters with some fertility doctors we knew it would be virtually impossible for us to do this ourselves. Once the total shock and disbelief of that news wore off and we were able to pull ourselves up from the ground we quickly started to file paperwork to bring our daughter home from China.

We didn't tell to many people about our decision. I told all of my family and they were fantastic about it. In fact I can't imagine going through what we went through without every single one of them, and there is a lot of them, on board. As the months ticked by I would keep everyone posted. My mum would send me articles from the papers, my sister was gathering a book collection, my cousins kept asking when and my dad was just there to listen. To all of them, we thank you. Thank you doesn't really cut it because without you all this journey would have been terribly lonely and sad.

When you adopt from China the Chinese government chooses the right child for you. I can not explain to those of you who haven't adopted just how they match the correct child to you but they do. Every single adoptive parent will tell you that there is no better child in the world for them and that they got the perfect match. How do you explain to someone that this is YOUR child and that she just happened to be born on the other side of the world? Sadly adoption is still often viewed as a pathetic second best and this "sympathy" enrages me. Just for the record I would like to say to all the people that have said,"now that you've adopted you will probably have your own now", Lily is my own and so is Rose. They may not be flesh of our flesh, nor blood of our blood but they are our heart and soul. And also for the record, if there was even an iota of a chance that I could become pregnant I would have my tubes tied because from the bottom of my heart I can tell you that my children are born in China, they grow in our heart and not in my stomach and being pregnant to me is now a nightmare and not the dream it once was. ( Rant Over)

Jacob held Lily in his arms for approximately 30 seconds before announcing we would be adopting again. I was still a little numb from becoming a mummy after such a long time and dismissed his comment. But he was right and 2 years later we started the process all over again. We waited and waited and grew tired and frustrated and then waited some more. We perused the waiting child lists that our agency sends us every Friday but after getting our hearts trodden on one time very early on we backed, actually, ran away from them. Our child was out there and we just needed to wait to be matched with her. Another year passed by and we decided to check out the list again. We found Nan, Qi Min. We knew she was ours. She evoked all the same emotions that Lily had done a few years earlier and we were in love. You know the rest of this story about how we had to beat out 4 other families to prove she was ours and we did it. Rosie. as she has become, was not matched with our family, we picked her. She is the perfect child for this family, the perfect baby sister to Lily and the perfect, granddaughter, niece and cousin to her extended family. Everyone stood by us and cheered us on. My father and his wife knew from the second that we decided to seek special needs exactly what we were doing and what conditions we would accept. Again they were right there.

The red thread led us to Rosie and to Lily before her. Our girls are just that, our girls. They were adopted, they aren't now. Now they are just Lily and Rose, 2 sisters building a friendship through love. Two girls with a mum and a dad just like most of their friends. They are no different than anyone else and if you think they are just ask them and Lily will set you straight in a heart beat. We have already had the, "are they real sisters?" comment. WTF? Both times this question has been asked in front of them. I think this insensitivity is downright cruel. Are they going to grow up thinking they are pretend sisters cos everyone asks if they are real? URGHHH, people are stupid and stupid people suck. I still haven't figured out how to deal with this comment when Lily presents me with a question but to the people that ask I say yes, they have the same parents so that makes them siblings. Then I want to add a laundry list of profanity but I don't I just seethe on the inside.

I was scared that somehow we would "break' Lily by bringing her a sibling but all that has happened is that she has grown. Grown so much and made us even prouder. She cares for Rosie and loves her so much. Tonight she said that Rosie is the most fun that she has ever had (I think this was when Rosie was accessorising with her broccoli during dinner.) Rosie has brought out a whole new side of Lily a side that makes me love her even more and I really didn't think that was possible.

If you are still waiting for your child, hang in there and soon you will be hit by a love that you never knew you were capable of having. If you are an adoptive parent already, you get this and if you are not an adoptive parent and you are reading this, please think before you hit us with your barrage of questions. These are our children, yes, our children and we love them and will do anything to protect them from nosey insensitive comments.

Okay , well it seems like I had a few things to say but I feel all better now and regular programming will resume shortly.