The Emotional Side Of Motherhood

I have always been an emotional person, I wear my heart on my sleeve and always have done. Becoming a mother has raised my emotional quotient to an all new level that even has me shaking my head at my pathetic-ness.

I dropped Lily off this morning for school and as I walked back to my car I realised this was her last day as a "pre-k cutie" and no sooner had that thought entered my head the tears started flowing. I just cannot believe that the next time I walk into her school I will be taking her to Kindergarten. I composed myself and drove home with a sad face. I came home and pondered my little girl and how big she is now and just how incredibly wonderful she is.

I thought when I first became her mummy that I wanted her to stay little forever. She was so ridiculously cute and impish. I loved the way she talked and the way that she couldn't say the letter "s" and used "f" instead so that her life was filled with fiders and focks (spiders and socks) the way she called us Mummio and Daddio. The first time she met my father and his wife it was love at first sight and she refused to say grandpa cos he was her daddy too and I would tell her that it was her Grandpa and she would say, NO, my daddy too. And my father thought it was great and that she was just so smart.

I have now realised that I love every stage and every age. Each passing month just brings out more of her personality and curiosity. Tonight out of the clear blue sky she asked me if you can see people when they go to heaven if you are holding their hand. I wasn't quite sure what she meant at first but then I understood and we chatted about going to heaven and how the whole deal works. I can see her mind working when we are out and about and then out pop the questions. She is a sponge and so very funny and smart. (yes, I realise I say this a lot but she truly is, just ask anyone in our family!)

So as I sit here reminiscing the younger Lily years I have to smile because even though she is getting big and independent she will always be mine. And when she gets married she will still live at home with us. I know this cos she told us the other day. She added that she might get the house next door but she would come and visit and we could go there too!

She turns five in a few days and I am NOT ready for that but I don't suppose I can do much about it so I will put on my game face and deal with it.