Thank you from deep inside my heart for calling me mummy. Thank you for making my heart whole and for giving my life purpose. I thought I knew what it was to live life but I knew what it was to go through the motions of living. Now I LIVE life and revel in each moment. I savour the small things and celebrate our victories. I can't wait until tomorrow because I know it holds an adventure just waiting to be seized.
I laugh loudly and cry freely. The day I met Lily my heart moved to the outside of my body where it has remained, in an extremely vulnerable state, only to become even more vulnerable with the arrival of you, Rosie, a few years later. Things that I once would have shrugged off now touch me deeply.
I just read an article written by a mum who just lost her 5 yr old son and she called herself a helicopter parent, she was proud to be one. After reading her sad sad story all I can say is that being a hovering Mum is an honour. I have been accused of the same but all I can say is no one knows how much I wanted and longed for you, no one knows what it is like to live here in Miami (unless of course they actually do) where kids are sexting at age 10 and how I am trying to protect you from things that I don't want in your life. From creeps and substances. This is your childhood and it should be void of certain things, you will learn all that in time but not now little ones not now.
Your proud little faces when you came into my bedroom this morning carrying not one but two trays, with my breakfast, brought a huge smile to my sleepy face. The toast in different shades of burnt, because you know I like my toast done, was so sweet. I loved how each piece had something different spread on it, something that each one of us would love, just in case I wanted to share. We giggled as the crumbs fell into the bed and you tried to spread them about so they would not be so prickly. It was logical to you.
I asked what you wanted to do today because without you I wouldn't be celebrating anything today, I would be sad. I threw out some ideas of things I thought would be fun but could tell you were saying yes for me and then I thought of something we would all love and love it we did.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me, me.
I love all the way there and back and then a little bit more too.
|This is how we spent our day. More on it tomorrow.|