A letter to my employer

Dear Me

I have always loved working for you and even though this position has presented many challenges they have never come close to those presented this week. Really I can't imagine that I signed up for any of it.
Please note that effective immediately, I quit.

Sincerely,

Me, myself and I


I don't very often talk about my work, I can't. It's confidential and what can I say that would be interesting to any of you? After the last couple of days I have decided that I am resigning.

Yesterday I arrived at my usual Wednesday morning appointment, 3 minutes early because that's how, "Little Old Man In the Gables" likes things done, and when he came to the door he said, "I don't think you should come in, well maybe you should but just stand right here because the bees are back and they are swarming." I looked beyond him into his beautiful Florida room and all I could see were hundreds of bees, everyfreakingwhere.

About 4 years ago Little Old Man In the Gables, (that takes to long to write I'll call him Bob) had bees build a hive in the front of his house. He left them there for a while until a nosey neighbour noticed them and made a stink. Bob is a kind man and won't hurt anything. Since bees are dying at an alarming rate he wanted to find someone that would remove his bees without harming them. It took him a few weeks but he was able to make it happen.

The bees came back about a year ago but they moved into his house, I'm still not sure where in his house even though he has told me I just don't "get" where.  Every now and again they would swarm into the Florida room, not often and not many. To be on the safe side  I insisted suggested that when he was at his doctors office he tell the doctor about them in case he ever got stung. Thankfully he listens to me and he told him. The Dr. gave him an epi-pen just in case.

Bob is old and can get quite cranky but he is a lovely and very kind man he has been my client for 15 years. As the months have passed the bees have stung him and each time the reaction gets worse. Each Wednesday there is a new sting and it is bad. Recently I have really scolded him about getting rid of the damned bees. He had called the original man but he came saw what where the hive was and never came back. I then scoured the internet trying to find a kind bee company. I found 3. Hah, this time he had no choice but to deal with them. I left him the information and left there knowing he would get help. Wrong. When I went back he told me that the company said he would have to move out of that part of his house, we would have to move all the upholstered furniture out for 3 months because any stray bees  that were left behind could possibly use the soft furnishings to build another hive. If you saw his home you would see what a massive upheaval and undertaking this would be for a young person let alone for an older chap. It is out of the question.  2 weeks ago he had been stung on the face, last week on the leg and his foot and leg were so swollen. That was it, I got really stern with him and told him if he didn't do something soon I would be forced to use my "mummy voice" with him. He agreed he had to and said he had reached a point where he didn't care what happened to the damned bees. I was shocked and figured he didn't mean it.

That brings us to this week when he was worried about me even going in. As I stood there he was in his Florida room vacuuming the bees up with the long hose of his Hoover. If it wasn't so dangerous I would have laughed my head off. Finally the last one was sucked up the tube and I was able to get to work. Of course I uncovered his most recent stings! I lectured him. He agreed. I offered no help. This morning I had to call my bug guy cos I saw an ant in the girls bathroom and I decided to ask if he knows a bee guy. His response, I do bees but I kill them. I explained the situation, how temperamental  my client can be and he said he could have someone there within the hour. I told him to give me a few minutes. I called Bob and told him. I expected him to say no but instead he said just arrange it. I thought to myself why me they're your bees but I called Dr. Death back and crossed my fingers.

Late this afternoon Bob called: "I have no bees and I really don't know how to thank you. They are all gone in one day and it wasn't even all that bad, I only just found the cat but he is fine" He was talking so fast. He was relieved and so happy. He even told me that when the guy called to say he was just 5 minutes away he told him he had changed his mind and not to bother coming. He was convinced it was going to be a huge job causing a huge upheaval in his life that would go on for days. Dr.Death refused to back down. He basically sweet talked his way to Bobs house and once Bob met him he liked him, thank goodness and let him in and showed him where they were coming in or where he thought they were coming in. In no time at all it was taken of.

He didn't save the bees this time and I am sure in a couple of weeks he'll be a bit sad about it but it was getting so dangerous and he really is too old to deal with all that fuss.

I'm really happy he is safe again. But I am not a bee keeper, or a dog trainer. My job has taken on a life of it's own but one thing is for sure, it's never dull.