3 May 2012

When your words come right back at you

I have been known to ram responsibility down my childrens throats. I don't want them to grow up taking things for granted or sponging off of society. I hammer responsibility into their sweet little heads at every opportunity that I get. Never miss a chance in fact.

Yesterday I dropped the ball. I completely forgot one of my responsibilities. No excuses will be heard coming from my mouth. The guilt that I felt was incredible. In fact I panicked when I realised what I had done. I yelled an expletive at the very top of my lungs, but it fixed nothing. I had screwed up at Lilys expense and it felt absolutely terrible.

She had an award ceremony, one of the ones that I find a tad annoying. I don't usually attend them as I have a client at that time but Jacob always goes. We always make sure one of us is present. I didn't remind hubby ahead of time as I knew I would be around to remind him in the morning.  Yesterday my client rescheduled for a different time and I was free, free as a bird. I was doing something in the kitchen when I suddenly remembered. I threw myself into my car, burned rubber leaving the driveway and hauled arse to get to the school. I got there just in time to see her classmates' Father walking back to his car. I was truly gutted. I can honestly say I have never felt so guilty regarding one of my girls EVER.

I sent Jacob a text (I was parked) and he called me to say he just got a snotty phonecall from a classmates Mother stating that he FORGOT to show up and that Lily was upset. Oh now the guilt was worse than ever. I had to get to work so I left and headed to fulfil at least that responsibility. All morning my heart was with my girl.

When I picked Lily up she looked very unhappy, to put it mildly. I gave her a huge hug and she said, Daddy forgot to come to school this morning. She had no idea I wasn't as work. Hah, I was off the hook. I would never do that in a million years. Jacob and I had already discussed things and I told him that that was exactly what she would say as she didn't expect me to be there. I explained everything to her and told her it was my fault. I owned the mistake and told her I was sorry. When we got home we talked with Jacob and decided to let her see how she would handle it.

She decided that she wanted a "responsibility pass". In other words or in her words, every one forgets things occasionally and next time she forgets something she doesn't want to get punished for it, she wants a free pass. It's a one time deal. We agreed with her. She also knows what it is like to be on the disappointment side of things and doesn't like how it feels.

I hope to goodness I don't feel that way again cos it sucked like a dyson!

Life lessons sometimes you teach sometimes you learn.


Vivian M said...

Kerri has taught me many lessons. Don't be so hard on yourself, we all make mistakes and forget things. (Hugs).

val said...

Oh the mommy guilt....the worst kind!

Johnny said...

Parents are human, things get forgotten. But the smirky phone call is what would infuriate me. I would tell that person to mind their own business - one day they will have an oops.

Catherine said...

It's so difficult when you know you've disappointed your child and at the same time, disappointment is a life lesson that we all need to learn. You felt badly for sure yet at the same time you unknowingly gave Lily an opportunity to learn how to handle disappointment.

The free pass is a great idea but sadly I know I'd need to offer Hannah more than one since I can mess up more often.

Tammie said...

I think the best lesson learned here by all is that we are only human. In my religious school classes, I always taught that only G-d is perfect. We are made in His image only. What does this mean? It means that we are not only allowed to make mistakes, but also that we are supposed to make them.

I think you handled it beautifully. The idea of a one-time responsibility pass is great. I may have to borrow it one day.


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