When your words come right back at you

I have been known to ram responsibility down my childrens throats. I don't want them to grow up taking things for granted or sponging off of society. I hammer responsibility into their sweet little heads at every opportunity that I get. Never miss a chance in fact.

Yesterday I dropped the ball. I completely forgot one of my responsibilities. No excuses will be heard coming from my mouth. The guilt that I felt was incredible. In fact I panicked when I realised what I had done. I yelled an expletive at the very top of my lungs, but it fixed nothing. I had screwed up at Lilys expense and it felt absolutely terrible.

She had an award ceremony, one of the ones that I find a tad annoying. I don't usually attend them as I have a client at that time but Jacob always goes. We always make sure one of us is present. I didn't remind hubby ahead of time as I knew I would be around to remind him in the morning.  Yesterday my client rescheduled for a different time and I was free, free as a bird. I was doing something in the kitchen when I suddenly remembered. I threw myself into my car, burned rubber leaving the driveway and hauled arse to get to the school. I got there just in time to see her classmates' Father walking back to his car. I was truly gutted. I can honestly say I have never felt so guilty regarding one of my girls EVER.

I sent Jacob a text (I was parked) and he called me to say he just got a snotty phonecall from a classmates Mother stating that he FORGOT to show up and that Lily was upset. Oh now the guilt was worse than ever. I had to get to work so I left and headed to fulfil at least that responsibility. All morning my heart was with my girl.

When I picked Lily up she looked very unhappy, to put it mildly. I gave her a huge hug and she said, Daddy forgot to come to school this morning. She had no idea I wasn't as work. Hah, I was off the hook. I would never do that in a million years. Jacob and I had already discussed things and I told him that that was exactly what she would say as she didn't expect me to be there. I explained everything to her and told her it was my fault. I owned the mistake and told her I was sorry. When we got home we talked with Jacob and decided to let her see how she would handle it.

She decided that she wanted a "responsibility pass". In other words or in her words, every one forgets things occasionally and next time she forgets something she doesn't want to get punished for it, she wants a free pass. It's a one time deal. We agreed with her. She also knows what it is like to be on the disappointment side of things and doesn't like how it feels.

I hope to goodness I don't feel that way again cos it sucked like a dyson!

Life lessons sometimes you teach sometimes you learn.