The whole 4th grade really does hate me and that's me talking and not Lily. Let me elaborate a little.
Yesterday Lily came home from school with a lot of homework. her backpack weighed more than she did. i asked her what she had and the list went on forever. Last week she didn't have any at all die to the FCAT's and I think they are making up for lost time this week. As she unpacked her books and put them on the desk she said uh-oh or something similar. I immediately knew she had forgotten a book. She doesn't do this a lot but she does it enough for it to be than a little annoying. I stopped covering for her when she did this once she hit second grade. Now she is on her own. Sadly many of the teachers dish out homework assignments but never bother to check them or collect them. This assignment was in math and that teacher only occasionally collects the work but they never know when she is going to ask for it. She has forgotten to bring her math textbook home before but done the assignment first thing when she got to school and been able to get away with it.
Not so yesterday. I have a responsibility to teach her to be more responsible so I asked her to hand me her agenda. I promptly wrote a note to her teacher explaining that she had forgotten her book AGAIN and could she please be allowed to bring it home this evening. I fully understood that she would not be able to make up the grade but she would still be expected my me to do the work.
To put it bluntly Lily was pissed off. She stayed huffy for quite a while last night but that didn't change anything at all. We talked about how she can't just skate through life. She reasoned that other kids forget to bring books home all the time and their parents don't make them do it the next day. This banter continued with me saying words my parents said to me, "but unfortunately for you, I am not their parent I am your parent and you will do the work tomorrow".
When I picked her up her teacher asked if I realised that she couldn't make up the grade and I said I fully understood that but she still had to do the work she missed. She teacher smiled and Lily snarled. I then pointed out that that was Lily's mad face and that I was in for a long evening but I could play a tougher game than she could. She wished me good luck and we came home.
In the car Lily told me that after Mrs "F" got my note she asked for the homework and lots of kids hadn't done it and because of me they all got zeros. My response was simple, Great, now all of 4th grade hates me. It made her laugh.
I asked if she had a lot of homework. Stupid question really since I knew she already had 45 math problems from yesterday. She got 45 more today plus everything else. I felt awful but I wasn't about to let her know that. I told her to get started because if she wasn't done when it was time to go to swimming she wasn't going.
She did it, all of it abd was done in time to go to swimming. She knew better than to hand me something with sloppy writing because I would have made her start again.
Yes, I play tough. I can raise a mamby pamby kid who thinks they can get everything handed to them or I can raise a kid that fights for what they want and who will be an outstanding adult who knows how to do the right thing. I working really hard to raise the latter.
8 comments:
Kudos to you Dawn...being a parent can be very tough! As for the rest of the 4th grade I bet they do their homework now!
One day she'll be grateful for this, but probably not for at least ten years!
I want to be a mom JUST LIKE YOU!
I wish there were more moms like you, too.
That's the parenting job!
They won't thank you years from
now, but we as parents will now.
Bravo to you! I do the same thing with Natalie's school work. My girl is mortified when I talk to her teacher about thing like that. I too agree it will help them in the end.
Kudos to you Dawn! Some day Lily will thank you for this, and you will both laugh. It's not easy being the mean mom, but it comes with the job. :o(
It is really quite funny how similar you & I are. I have spoken with Erin's teachers about this topic. They will take the work late & give the same grade as a student who did the work on time. I have explained to her teachers that it isn't fair to the students who do their homework on time. I believe that if a student hands work in late, & the teacher wants to accept it, there should be a consequence (i.e., not capable of earning an A so highest possible grade would be a B).
I also make Erin do the work & show it to the teacher although many times it won't get a grade.
If you could see me right now, you would see me applauding you. Bri is only in kindergarten and I get on her at times for forgetting things and messy work. If she doesn't learn it now, it will only get harder later on!
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