16 Mar 2010

I Wish Real Life Offered Do-Over's ** Updated

This morning I needed a "do-over" card. I am not writing this post for comments but just because this blog is a journal for the girls and this is one of those moments that was not all fuzzy and full of love but was a life moment that I should not have let happen.

Today Lily had her first ever SAT test. Her school has been prepping them for the past 2 weeks. She has been so bored at school with all the practice test taking that she has been sent home with 2 notes from her teachers stating that she is talking to much in class. Both of her teachers have explained to me that she is bored and that is why she is so yippy. She is ready for her tests and is not at all nervous. She was sent home yesterday with a checklist: get a good night's sleep, eat a good healthy breakfast and arrive at school on time today.

On my way home from work last night at 9.30 p.m. I decided to stop at the store and pick up snacks for her whole class for after the test and I also bought a little card for her to wish her luck. Jacob and I wrote her card and we left the snacks ready for the morning as a surprise for her.

As we left the house I gave her her card and bounced her into the car. She saw the snacks and was really giddy. As we drove to school she opened the card and read it and her response was not what we anticipated, instead she critiqued my handwriting. This knocked me off guard.

Lily just went on and on about it and in the end I snapped at her. She got defensive and things escalated from there. By the time we had driven to school things were a hot mess and she was mad and so was I. This was not how the morning was meant to play out. Not this morning of all mornings. Not on the day she was to have her first ever SAT. I wished her luck, told her I loved her and she climbed out of the car looking utterly forlorn.

There was nothing I could do. She was sad, I was sad and she was heading through the gates of the school and I was pulling out of the drop off lane. My stomach was in a knot. In my head I begged for a do-over card, begged her to pass that darned test, to cheer up, to know that things were OK. I rang Jacob and he said, "But Hon, not today, it's her test!" Yes, I know that Sherlock and I feel like doo doo. He calmed me down, like he always does but today is her test and I really do feel like dog doo.

I screwed up this morning and I hope she does OK. I wish it was a result of PMS or a bad hangover or something but it is not. It is just a case of bad judgement. I really have been doing a lot better at not sweating the small stuff so where did it go so wrong this morning?? Don't answer, I don't need advice, I'm just clearing my head.

** Her SAT went fine. She came out of school all happy go lucky and received a huge, rib squishing, hug from me which I might add she reciprocated. No more mornings like that one please.

5 comments:

Polar Bear said...

No Words.

Just a HUG!

Love Letters To China said...

Hugs to you my friend. Sounds like my life these days....

Vivian M said...

Sending you a huge hug, and one for Lily too.

Special K said...

So it's the 19th today. I'm sure you and Lily are all made up now. How did the test go?

Tammie said...

Glad all went well in the end. Perhaps Miss Lily was just on edge due to the pressures of knowing it was a big test. I have found that although we can be prepared for a test, we can still be edgy.

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