Some Of My Thoughts

A few weeks ago our social worker asked us if it was at all overwhelming having a special needs child. Our immediate answer was NO. It really isn't, we don't think about it. Rosie has been given a clean bill of health and her heart condition doesn't restrict her at all. Yes, we know she has a few things going on but other than her PDA all the other things are cosmetic as they do not affect her in any way.

Monday is her cardiac appointment, followed 2 days later with a well baby visit. Am I concerned? yes I am. Not because I think they will find anything but because Rosie really gets upset at the doctors office. She screams, she cries and she just gets very uncomfortable. There is nothing we can do about it. We hold her tight and comfort her once it is over and done with but she has to have all these tests done and we have to hold her down. I hate it, I really hate it. I could cry. I don't but the tears are right there. So in answer to the question, is it overwhelming having a special needs child, the answer is still no but having to take any child to a doctor as much as we have had to take Rosie and see that child get so upset hurts like hell.

If we knew a little bit more about her first year it might make it easier. We don't know how many times she was hospitalised, we know of at least 2 and the worst part is we don't know if anyone stayed with her or if she was just left alone there. I am guessing she was alone, which will not help her fear of doctors. In time the fear will subside and she will be a happy little girl whilst she is there but that time hasn't arrived yet so I have to put my game face on and deal with it all.

We have been playing doctor with her for the last few days and we have all been wearing stethoscopes, Rose included. Will it help? Who knows but it can't hurt.

To my sweet little Qi Qi.

I am sorry you have to go through this and I would do anything to avoid it but we have to make you better and make your heart strong. I promise you that very soon this will all be done and all these scary visits where people poke and prod you and strangers touch you will be a thing of the past. Until then I want you to know that Daddy and I are always right there for you, to wipe up your tears and your runny nose and to shower you with kisses adn hold you tight when it is all over.

You are such a sweet little girl and we all love you so much. You are much too smart for one so young and incredibly funny too. Your cheeky ways get you out of a lot of situations and you sweet smile lights up the room. I love that you are trying to say all the words that we say. Your favourites are, gray for grapes, lie for lights, Booboo for boobies, yes my dear sweet child you are infatuated with boobs even Lilys. You say dogogwoof, for dog, and when we hear uh-oh it is usually just before your bath when you are running around nudey and you have just pee'd on the floor, it makes your sister laugh so much. You have just started to repeat Wo Ai Ni (I love you , in Chinese) and you say, ai ni mama. You blow kisses at the people you want to and liberally dish out kisses to us.

You are the living proof that dreams really do come true.

I love you sweet baby girl,
Mummy.