Gotcha Day Remembered (this will be long)

This will probably get very long winded as I remember the day as it unfolded and you may even need a tissue. I know I will.

Four years ago today Jacob and I were in Hubei Province China. We had had our last hoorah, as a childless couple, in Hong Kong for a day and then we flew straight to Wuhan a day early, or so we thought, so that we could get acclimatised. Our wonderful guide Kathy met us at the airport and we went straight to a department store so that we could get Chinese style bottles and formula for the baby and then it was off to our hotel. On the way to the White Rose, Kathy announced that we would be getting the babies tomorrow. Jacob and our friend "Chicken Feet" who came along with us to China didn't seem surprised until I said something about it being a day early and then they all caught on. I promptly burst into tears....a trend that would continue.

Once we were checked in and taken to our room the reality of everything hit us. There was a crib in our room. A crib for our baby. Oh dear heavens we were about to be parents to the most incredible little girl we had ever seen. (and you know we still feel this way). We unpacked and generally fiddled around until dinner time and then we went to one of the hotel restaurants where we met another couple in our group. We sat together and talked and talked. I don't what time we left the restaurant but I remember C.F. telling us we needed to get to bed cos we needed to be well rested for the morning. Oh and let me tell you rest was not about to happen. We were walking around with the most ridiculous grins on our faces. We were scared and excited all at once. We ran over the, "what if" list for the umpteenth time and finally fell asleep.

We awoke a 4.00am and made sure the diaper bag was packed and ready to go. Nothing like being prepared, we didn't have to be in the lobby until 2.pm. At about 10am more of the group arrived and we all started to congregate in our room. Finally it was time to go. We piled into the bus and silence took over. Every now and again you would here a few words or a nervous giggle but that was it. My stomach was bouncing around so much I thought I might have swallowed Tigger.

We pulled up in front of a hotel and were taken upstairs to a hot room and there we waited. At one point a cute little girl of about 2 came zooming in and then she fled. She turned out to be Sonja, the oldest child in our group and the one we nicknamed the "little marine". Our guide introduced us to another lady who only spoke Chinese and then Kathy translated every word she said. It seemed to go on forever but I knew it was important but seriously I just wanted them to be quiet and hand us Lily. I lost my concentration and suddenly the room was filled with people carrying babies and everything started to happen very fast. The director of Lilys orphanage spoke, again I have no idea what she said cos I was close to throwing up from excitement. Then it happened, they called John's name and he went down on bended knee and asked Sonja if he could be her daddy. That did it for me, I was crying. It was the most touching thing I have ever seen in my life. One by one they rattled off names and I was trying so hard to spot our little munchkin amongst the crowd. I finally saw her and I just couldn't believe it was about to happen. Kathy shouted, "JacobdawnCope". It sounded like one word and did every time they said it. We moved forward and as arranged Jacob lent forward and took our daughter into his arms and then he turned towards me to show me this beautiful and tiny little girl who was ours, all ours. I didn't want to kiss her straight away because I didn't want to scare her so I kissed my finger and stroked her cheek.

She was giving Jacob the evil eye. She wasn't crying but she really wasn't happy about the situation. She sat in his arms all rigid and slowly the tears built up in her eyes and she started to cry and look around for her nanny. It was so heartbreaking to watch. Our dream come true was an absolute nightmare to her. All the kids were starting to cry so we walked over to a corner and tried to comfort this precious little child. C.F. is Chinese so she spoke to her and tried to comfort her but from a distance. She understood that getting to close to her at the moment would not help the situation. I remember crying so hard and thinking that the photos would be awful if I didn't get my act together. Jacob was also crying and so was Lily....a match made in heaven.

Things became blurry but we got back on the bus and Lily calmed down and comforted herself in Jacobs arms. She fell asleep and stayed that way for the duration of the ride. I kept staring at her and wondering what I had done to deserve this little one. My world had turned rightside up in a second and I finally knew the love of a mother to a child. Lily or as she was back then, Yu Ni, slept for a good hour conked out of Jacobs chest. When she woke up she whimpered and it broke my heart. We had received a bag from the orphanage and in it was a bottle of her favourite drink and a snack so we gave it to her and she calmed down again. I knew I had to change her but the thought of undressing her seemed so cruel that we waited.

We spent the rest of the day talking to her, holding her and showing her some things. She didn't smile but she didn't cry again either. We were amazed at how many Mongolian spots she had. Her little body was blue everywhere and I was concerned that some of them we bruises. She was playing on the floor sitting on a towel and we had no idea if she could even walk when she suddenly jumped up and ran out of the room and down the hall way with the typical drunken sailor gait of a child who is new at walking. We followed in close pursuit and bought her back to the room. She started to jibber jabber and ate a reasonable amount of dinner. Jacob and another dad went back to the supermarket to get more supplies while I tried to put her to bed. I gave her a bottle rocked her in my arms and she went out for the count until the next morning. I just kept staring at her and saying, Isn't she beautiful. It wasn't a question but a statement.

At some point we made a couple of phone calls to let the world know we had her.
I love watching the video of this day and so does Lily. We showed it to her once shortly after we got back and she started to get cry and became very agitated. She must have remembered some of it. We stopped it immediately and didn't show it to her again for months.

Our Gotcha day was very easy and we are really thankful. Our love for Lily grows every day and she just continues to amaze us.

For those of you waiting for your first child....it will be worth it, so very, very worth it.

Publishing SNAFU.....I wrote this post last night so that I could just copy and paste it today before we leave for the day but I forgot and hit publish so this is a day early by date.