Pre Thanksgiving jitters

My kitchen looks as if it was the target of a terrorist attack. I look like a went a few rounds with Tyson and it's all because I am trying to get a head start on the Thanksgiving meal. I was not cut out to be a cook. I don't even like food that much. Each year I host Thanksgiving for all my family and any Ex-Pats that get lost in the shuffle. This year it is going to be smaller....probably because my cooking skills killed off a few last year.

I dutifully went to the supermarket with an almighty list in hand and came home sans a turkey. Seriously such responsibility should not be thrust upon me. As I meandered the store grabbing all the things that one needs for Thanksgiving, minus the Turkey, I was struck by how much stuff the other people were buying and thought I should get the extra stuff too. Perhaps it really isn't Thanksgiving without garbage sack sized bags of chips or the worlds largest container of whipped cream. What do I know, (a) I'm a foreigner in these parts and (b) I can't flipping cook!

There is so much to do. So many side dishes to be made. Each one more fancy and complicated than the last. As I type my stuffing is sitting on the stove, the flavours all "coming together" whatever the h*ll that means. It smells good but that just might be the wine. Not the wine in it but the wine I am drinking just to stay a float. It stops me throwing things across the room too when the cookery book uses a term that I actually have to Google before I can do it.

There's a saying in this house: Mummy only has a kitchen because it came with the house.

I found this recipe and still think I should try it. It's for people like me who don't know how to cook.

Here is a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing ingredient -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when turkey is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.

1 - 15 lb. turkey 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good) 1 cup un-popped popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT IS BEST) Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan making sure the neck end is toward the front of the oven, not the back.

After about 4 hours listen for the popping sounds.


When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room,.... it's done.

Happy Thanksgiving and gobble til ya wobble.


Oh and I am adding a new label for my posts, it's "humour" for those who might think I am 100% serious and actually drinking wine by the vat at noon.