Once Lily entered the 3rd grade I stopped acting as her buffer. If she forgot a book or homework sheet, she was on her own. I know it sounds harsh but she has to learn to be responsible, we all do. Sometimes she would ring a friend and see if they could work something out via the phone and or computer and sometimes she would just have to face the music when she got to school the next day. Since she is a "good student" on the odd occasion that she forgot something her teacher would send home a little "accountability note" that I had to sign and Lily had to do the assignment that night. She never forgot anything crucial.
On Monday as soon as I walked into the house after work, Lily announced, "Mummy I forgot to bring home a paper for you to sign but it's not a big deal and I'll bring it home tomorrow, I promise". After a quick question or 2 I realised this was a paper for me to sign regarding an upcoming math test. I wasn't very concerned about it. I mean I wish she had remembered it but this wasn't a grade at stake ~ or so I thought.
Today Lily comes home and tells me she got an "F" in Math. I asked her what happened as this child is my honour roll student and is in gifted math. Well it turns out that the teacher is also teaching responsibility and that paper that she forgot to bring home was graded. Graded? Who ever heard of such a thing. I gave Lily a befuddled look and she told me that it was worth an "A" if you bought it back the next day. Now I am all for making my kid accountable for her actions but for goodness sake she got an "F" on something that didn't even grade her mathematical abilities. What a crock of sh*t.
I have already been warned that these 2 teachers are tough and that there is NO way Lily will make Honor Roll at all this year because of them so I wasn't shocked when I heard it. I also think that the whole Honor Roll idea is a bit of a crock because if you make "A"'s you make honor roll. Uh, call me stupid but isn't that the whole idea of going to school, to earn "A"'s? Almost every kid in the class makes it every grading period so it won't hurt her not to get it and to earn a grade less than an "A". It will be humbling that is not a bad thing either.
Unfortunately I won't be putting much stock in her homeroom teachers this year. I'll take it with a grain of salt. I always stand behind the teacher in front of the girls but it doesn't mean that in my heart I agree with them. Getting her first ever "F" hasn't fazed her very much cos she thinks it is foolish how they graded a letter for the parents. I'm with her but I do think she will be more attentive to her list of things to bring home.
I went to a private school so I have no idea if all public schools are like this or if this is an American way of doing things but I find it odd that they appear to try and find a reason to beat down the kids, aren't they meant to teach and nurture? This is also the year that detention starts? WTF is detention, we didn't even have that at my school but I have a firm feeling that Lily will be spending some time there for talking.
In closing I would like to add that all of Lilys' and Rosies' for that matter, teachers dress very professionally. Not a Hoochie Mama to be found. At least she won't get hit in the head by a boob as she is being reprimanded for forgetting to take something home. I'm sounding like a hypocrite which isn't my intention. Teach them responsibility, I'll back you at home but don't make them feel stupid or dumb. It's not always about doing your job but how you do your job.
Dear Lily,
CONCENTRATE, FOCUS and get the job done right the first time.
I know you are only 9 but apparently you are in Military School now so shape up kidlet. Dad says detention isn't fun after the 10 or 11th time!
Love you
Mummy.
2 comments:
Oh my! An F for not bringing back a letter signed!? That is utterly ridiculous! As for detention, when I was growing up (way back when), detention started in junior high which was 7th grade.
Lily is an amazing young lady. I am so happy to hear that she isn't letting this foolishness get to her.
Wow, I do not agree on that F. But, I also do not agree that kids go to school to get A's.
I was a straight A honor roll student throughout elementary, middle, high school and college. Just because I could memorize things and get an A did not necessarily mean I learned a subject. As a matter of fact, I don't even remember most of it.
And having a child with a learning disability (or three), I do not expect A's. I expect her to go to school and do her very best and actually learn. And if that means anything less than an A, so be it. I celebrated every B she received last year, since she worked so very hard to get them.
Like you said, don't make them feel stupid or dumb. Years from now it won't really matter if she was on honor roll - but learning to be accountable for your mistakes is priceless, because life is not fair and sometimes oversights can cost you dearly.
I know Lily will probably never forget again, and will do her very best this school year. She has an amazing family to support her. :o)
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