Once we got home it was bedtime so I bathed the girls and shortly after her bath Lily became very quiet. I asked her if everything was ok and she it was. After a few minutes I asked her again but this time she gave me a different answer. One that stopped me in my tracks and hurt me. It hurt me for her.
She wanted to know why everyone always makes a huge fuss over Rosie. She understands that Rosie is cute but she doesn't understand why people fawn all over her all the time. Today at the party she met a new friend and after about 10 minutes "Annie" spotted Rosie and asked if they were sisters. Lily said they were and Annie dropped Lily like a hot potato and went off to play with Rosie. Annie was Lily's age.
Everywhere we go people comment on how cute Rosie is. Believe me the kid is cute but all little kids are cute. They have to be cute so that we as parents will take care of them cos lets face it some of their needs that we have to meet are anything but cute: for example, bottom wiping. If the kids wasn't cute the chances are you would not want to go there! Grown ups literally fall over themselves when it comes to cute kids.
A couple of weeks ago Lily had a new friend from school over to the house for the first time and the the childs mother was all over Rosie. It actually got to the point that I was fed up with it. I wanted to say, Hello, I have 2 children would you like to acknowledge my other daughter as well please? Rosie was also uncomfortable with all the fuss as the lady kept asking for kisses. I have told my girls that they DO NOT have to kiss and hug people that they don't want to.
Today Lily and I were talking with a lady and she asked Lily a question as Lily was mid-sentence with the answer Rosie appeared and the woman just cut Lily off and fawned over Rose.
It all got to much for Lily tonight and as she cried she kept saying that she felt badly for saying this about her sister. She doesn't want Rosie to look like the bad guy but she gets sick of it. Lily, doesn't get upset and tonight she sobbed, for ages.
I truly understand where she is coming from. I told her that Rosie only has a couple of cute years left and then she will be considered a big girl. I try very hard, when Lily has a friend over, to keep Rosie entertained and out of their business. I also explained that she used to be the one that everyone fawned over but now she is bigger and it doesn't happen anymore.
It hurt to see her so sad. she isn't jealous of Rosie per se more fed up with having her steal the spot light all the time.
If any of you have some advice I am all ears. I'm the baby of the family also so I don't know what this feels like. I asked Lily is she wanted to talk to Crazy Auntie Sally or Uncle Colin as they understand. Not that I was ever as cute as Rose, or Lily. In the meantime we are going to make sure Lily is included in conversations where people just gravitate to Rosie.
Both of my girls are amazing and to see one get forgotten cos people think her sister is cuter is wrong.
8 comments:
Poor sweet Lily. Rosie is definitely still in the little person cute phase. Bri is still in it at 5. I do notice though when Bri is sometimes with younger friends now, they sometimes get a little more attention than she does. I guess it is all part of growing up. It isn't fun though. :(
I feel bad for Lily but it is a fact of growing up that the younger kids get the attention....cute or not! I am surprised that kids her age would prefer Rosie! I guess you have to keep assuring Lily it's just another phase. She is a very smart kid but it's a shame she has to get her feelings hurt that way!!
Oh boy! Do I ever get where she's coming from. I have a younger brother who really was adorable. Of course, I didn't care because I was treated the same way as Lily.
I have to say that when you guys are coming up, Erin asks about Rosie, but it's Lily she's looking forward to spending her time with.
One thing I can suggest to you is that when someone is fawning over Rosie, you mention something unique &/or special about Lily. It should help bring the conversation back her way.
In the meantime, give her a hug & let her know she is certainly not alone in this.
Well my dear little Lil Pill, whenever I see you either in life or on skype I always ask after you. Even today your mummy and I had a conversation about Rosie's ear but immediately after that I asked after you, i know you were second that time but you weren't when you had your sting. I have to tell you your Mummy was cute and I know how you are feeling right now, just please know that I love you dearly and to me you are number one. Love today and every day to you all. Me xxx
Lilly you are still the number one to me...I was the oldest and had to put up with two younger sisters, so twice the trouble...so in many ways you are lucky..goodness me, what if you had 7 younger sisters.
dawn if you would kindly show lilly this note. cheers xxx bb.
Lilly you are still the number one to me...I was the oldest and had to put up with two younger sisters, so twice the trouble...so in many ways you are lucky..goodness me, what if you had 7 younger sisters.
dawn if you would kindly show lilly this note. cheers xxx bb.
Lilly you are still the number one to me...I was the oldest and had to put up with two younger sisters, so twice the trouble...so in many ways you are lucky..goodness me, what if you had 7 younger sisters.
dawn if you would kindly show lilly this note. cheers xxx bb.
for some reason this has posted three times.
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