Home For One Year.

One year ago today in a chilly room in Guandong Province we were united with Nan Qi Min. I think we were the last couple to receive our baby and all the other families were doting on their new babies when suddenly we saw her. Her, the little tiny person that we had been so in love with for 2 years. Her, the baby sister, that Lily had longed for. Rosie was about to be in our arms. The emotions that you go through at the very moment are hard to put into words. It is as if your heart is finally being made whole for the first time. We were on cloud nine, and have stayed there actually.

We let Lily approach her first, it was a promise we had made to her and then Jacob touched her next, as he held Lily first when we received her and we wanted to do things the same. By the time I got to touch her the guides were begging us to take her so I carried her out of their arms and that is when the crying started. We all sat down on the floor with her, right there and tried to console her little body but it was no use she was gutted, devastated, scared and alone. Our dream come true was a nightmare for her. We must have spent at least another hour there and she pretty much cried the whole time. Food, drink, soft words, soft toys and kisses just couldn't compare to the feelings of loss and fear that she had. I had to go and interview her care givers and Jacob tried to console her but decided after a few minutes that she might be better off with me. Once she saw her nannies she calmed down a little.

She was so very, very tiny and frail. I really wanted to get her back to the room so that we could really look at her, inspect her, see every inch of her tiny body. I wanted to know if she was all right. She definitely had a good set of lungs but I just wanted to really be able to see her tiny little beautiful body.

She sobbed on and off all afternoon. We fed her and she was eager to eat by that point. Her first bottle didn't go very well but finally she took it and then I tried to undress her. She had a lovely little suit of yellow corduroy on with fake sheepskin cuffs and as I tried to remove it she became inconsolable again but I had to do it. As I removed each layer she grabbed for them and held them close, wailing the whole time. Under her yellow suit were 2 of the saddest looking shirts I have ever seen, both were torn, and badly stained but their purpose was not to look nice but to protect her from the brutally cold temperatures that China suffered from last year. I finally changed her and was so shocked to see such a bony little child underneath all of the layers. If you remember I was a little taken back by her deformed chest and rib cage but mostly I was shocked at how very small and how very white she was. To this day Lily will often say, "do you remember how white Rosie used to be?" I do remember. The Mama in me just wanted to make it all better, I wanted to get her here right then so that we could see our pediatrician and our cardiac team.

That first night she slept like a champ. We woke her to feed her and she didn't cry. We held her and kissed her softly and spoke to her. I layed with her until she went back to sleep. We just couldn't believe she was ours. We finally had 2 girls, each as precious as the other and each belonged to us. This day was extra special cos we had Andie with us. Lily calls her, Cousin Andie, she never just calls her Andie and Rosie calls her Annie.

Rosie, it took you along time to really accept all the changes in your life but you have and now you are a happy little girl. We will always be here for you. If you have questions we will answer them, if we don't know the answers which will be the case quite often we will try everything we can to find them for you. Your sister will understand you and everything that you have gone through. All we can do is console you and always let you ask what it is you need to know. You heart is mended, in more ways than one and you are ready to take life by the horns. You are still our skinny little chicken but you have a big sister always standing ready to protect you when things get to rough or people get to nosey or pushy. We love you little Qi Qi and cannot believe you have been with us for a year. In so many ways it seems much longer but at the same time it feels like just yesterday.

One year ago.

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These are some random shots of her today. I think she has changed rather alot.
Rosie in the car on the way to Chuck-up-Cheese

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During dinner this evening she pulled off this tasty little party trick! That is Mac-n-Cheese up her schnoz

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In the bath tonight. This girl has some serious hair demons.

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Reading together before bed. Lily is reading her The Hungry Caterpillar.

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The only person that could do anything for Rosie tonight was Lily. She was in a huge Lily mood and wanted her to do everything for her. Lily of course, lovingly obliged. It's funny really cos 12 months ago today she pretty much wanted Lily for everything then too. If Lily is around Rosie has more nerve. Rosie needs Lily so that everything is all right in Rosieland.