3 Apr 2012

Rip Van Winkle

When Jacob and I first started dating I nick named him Rip Van Winkle cos the man could sleep. He went to bed really late, woke up really late and always took a nap. At first I found it quirky but you know what they say about quirky when you are dating it becomes annoying as all hell once you are married.

I vividly remember saying to him, once we decided to adopt, that you cannot spend all your life asleep. I know I won't he said. Nuff said.

The sleeping thing hasn't got any better. The man snores like a freight train. My sister complains that her husband snores, he doesn't. Well he does but nothing like Jacob but my sister is a very light sleeper. I on the other hand, sleep like a dead person. In addition to the snoring there is the choking, the spluttering, the thrashing, and the constant waking up. Really it is no wonder that he is ALWAYS tired. He has no idea what it is to get a good nights sleep.

About 6 months ago things came to the surface again and I wielded my wifey powers and strongly suggested insisted that he get a sleep study done, or else.  As I mentioned the other day nothing in hubby's life is urgent, ever. He finally made the appointment and today was the day that we, together, filled out the paperwork. Seriously, you have to have someone else fill out the paperwork with you because they ask you questions pertaining to when you are sleeping. Obviously all the answers are going to be: how the heck do I know, I am asleep, ask my wife!

You score the questions on a scale of 0-3 with 0 being mild and 3 being severe. with the exception of about 4 questions every single one he had to answer he had to answer with a 3. We laughed so much. One question was: Do you fall asleep if you are the passenger in a car for an hour? WTF? An hour? Try having a conversation with my husband in the car after 15 minutes, No lie, no joke! And then there was: Do you take intentional naps? Yes he does take intentional naps but it's the unintentional ones that are the problem. The ones he takes when I am talking to him or the ones he takes mere minutes after waking up.

The actual study isn't for a couple more weeks. I think it is finally sinking in after filling in the paperwork that he doesn't sleep properly and that he doesn't ever get a good nights sleep. Just because it is normal to him doesn't make it right. Frankly I don't see him coming out of the study with a CPAP machine I think he'll be schlepping a bloody oxygen tank.  It's just a joke honey, just a joke. Hun, hun, jeez, you fell asleep again didn't you?


val said...

Oh does that sound like someone I know!

val said...

Oh does that sound like someone I know!

val said...

What? I swear I didn't hit it twice!

dawn said...

Val, don't worry it's the most comments I've had in ages!

Catherine said...

Clear way on hubby's night table for 'Darth!' (That's the pet name of my CPAP anyway. A friend of mine calls his Lulu! :o)

This machine (which it sure sounds like he's headed for) is going to radically change his life (and yours) and he'll wonder how he functioned without it!!! It will take some getting used to for sure but once that's done it's life changing!

I went from needing 8-10 hours of sleep a night and a least 1 nap to function (all the time being tired) to now needing 5-7 hours of good sleep, no naps and feeling like a million bucks!

The mask will take adjusting to but perseverance will pay off.

Sweet dreams for both of you!

(Just an educational aside: the CPAP works by forcing the airway to stay open using the pressure of the air. It doesn't look nice but it's amazing! I went from snoring like a freight train to not at all. Ahhh! Also, when I was tested I stopped breathing almost 200 times on a night when I classified my sleep as 'poor' and 4 of those times was for 45 seconds or longer. Scary! Darth/Lulu/whatever will not only allow your hubs to sleep better but it will help his heart too as people with sleep apnea stress their hearts every single night.)

Vivian M said...

What Catherine said...ALL she said. I use a CPAP, and hubby can't sleep now if I don't have it on. Not because he cares, mind you....it's the soft white noise he likes, lol. ;o)

Andie said...

Thank goodness he's finally getting there. Don't pin all your hopes on it though, even if he gets a decent nights sleep doesn't mean he will do the jobs around the house any quicker!

Tammie said...

David had a sleep study years ago. When the results were read to us by the doctor, he was amazed that David was still alive. He had so many stops in his breathing that they were bewildered to say the least. The first time he tried it, he slept for almost 14 hours straight. After a week he felt like a whole new person.

I can't sleep without his CPAP machine now. It's my white noise.

Forget Jacob. You're going to love it.


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