Back To School

On Friday we received a phone call from the new principal of Lily's school stating that homeroom assignments and class lists would be posted outside of the school that afternoon. After our play date we hopped in to the car and drove to school to see which classroom she would be in but more importantly who her classmates would be.

The excitement was short lived. I started to read the list to Lily and her little face just got longer and longer. I didn't recognise the names but I thought she would. She didn't. As I neared the end of the list it was apparent that none and I mean NONE of her friends were in her class. As we walked back to the car I struggled to find the words to comfort her with. We decided later that night to go back in the morning and write all the names down and then cross check them in the year book to see who the kids were. We did and it made things worse. She still didn't know them and the ones she did she was not happy about.

Last night we dealt with tears. Not tantrum type tears but sad ears. Tears that come from deep within your heart because you are only 7 and you are starting 2nd grade and you don't have one best friend in your class. It killed me, it killed her daddy too. I rang a friend, Jenny and asked for advice. She is a teacher and I needed advice from an educator not from a friend or a parent. But Jenny is a parent first and a dear friend second so her advice was heartfelt. We threw some ideas around and I had a few suggestions to use this morning. I didn't sleep well, my stomach was in knots and my heart ached, it ached because Lily was hurting. This is an aspect of parenting I just don't like. I can guide her and help her through the rough stuff but watching her maneuver these waters hurts me because I want to stop her from ever, ever, feeling pain. I know if she never felt pain she would grow up to be a horrible human being but it hurts to see her hurt.

This morning we were up early and ready to leave the house on time. She was ready but not at all into it. We took photos like we always do and then she trudged into the car. The neighbourhood was a mad house so we parked a few blocks from school and walked in. Jacob or I would carry lily over the grass so that she wouldn't get her new shoes wet???

Once we arrived we passed many of her friends as we walked her into her class which of course just compounded the fact that she was alone. At this point I nearly cried. We entered her room and found her desk and I tried to find all sorts of positive things to point out but came up with nothing. Rosie at least kept things lively as she thought she was staying and tried to fit herself in the desk as well. Her teachers weren't very chatty which frankly pissed me off, aren't they meant to welcome the kids??? I thought a nice hello would have gone far.

We knew we couldn't stay forever so we started to make it clear we were leaving. She hugged me so tight and said she would miss me. I couldn't actually talk to her cos the lump in my throat was just to darned large and I feared if It tried to talk this god awful primal wail would escape. I hugged her and kissed her and managed to squeeze Rosie into the hug whilst yet again I composed myself. I told her I would miss her to and that everything WOULD be OK because daddy and I would always make things Ok and then we left.

I had to get to work so I dropped Jacob and Rosie back at the house and headed out. I needed a distraction and was glad of it.
Time seem to stand still today and my mind never left classroom 801c but eventually it was finally time to go and pick her up and Jacob and I jockeyed for a space in the crowd. After what seemed like hours in the humidity a happy, smiling, chirpy, bouncy, Lily skipped out of the crowd and dashed into my arms just gushing about her wonderful day. Are you #$%$# kidding me? I have been out of my brain all day worrying about you and you've been fine! Oh thank god, I wouldn't have had it any other way. That was the best ending I could have imagined. She loved it...loved it I tell you.

Me, I'm going to bed cos quite frankly 2nd grade is exhausting.

Getting ready to leave the house


Sitting at her desk.....her smile just isn't shining in this one.