7 Feb 2008

Lily

Last night for the first time ever Lily had a nightmare or night terror. I cannot remember which is which. I was talking to Jacob on the phone and I heard her crying so I shot upstairs and my little girl was laying in bed, arms and legs flailing and crying. I sat with her and talked to her and held her but she didn't wake up and she didn't stop for about 5 minutes. It was so horrid.
She must have so much going through her head at the moment and as smart as she is I am quite sure she cannot wrap her brain around it all. I asked her this morning if she wanted to talk about last night but she didn't tremember anything.

We have been very open with her and as far as we can tell we have addressed all her concerns and questions..........What's a mother to do?

Dear Lily.
One day when you hold your own child in your arms you will understand the love that I have for you but until then you will never fully understand just how very much I truly love you. You are my soul, you make my world a better place and without a doubt you have made me a better person.


As we prepare to go to China and bring home your baby sister I want you to know that my love for you will not change. Nothing between us will be any different and that is my promise to you.
I know that you are excited to meet Rosie and to hold, kiss, feed and hug her, I am too. She is going to need you so much and I know that you will help her. Daddy and I think that she is saving her first smile just for you.


Big sisters are so wonderful and I know you are going to be a superstar. You are so sweet and caring and your Mei Mei is so very lucky to have you. Today you told me that you were worried that Rosie was cold because you heard me talking to Daddy about the weather in China. You are so wise and even though I told you she was fine your little frown stayed on your face. Your peanut will be fine and she will be even better when she gets her first kiss from you.

I love you with all my heart and then some,
Mummy.

12 comments:

Patricia/NYC said...

You are a WONDERFUL momma!!! A beautiful letter to your sweet Lily!

I'm so sorry she had a night terror...Kiara gets them every other month or so...these sweet children are deeply sensitive, yet strong & hold onto much.

Lily WILL be a "superstar" big sister & I cannot wiat to see her shower the love on her precious sister!

Kris said...

Night terrors happen in the first hour or so of sleep (during our deepest sleep) are very common in childhood, and are not remembered. And the best thing to do? Not even touch them (I used to have these). Often touching them or talking to them will make it worse and last longer. They are horrible for a parent to watch but thankfully never remembered by those who suffer them!

Your letter is beautiful... and I am thinking that once your little Rosie is with you guys, Lily will warm up very quickly to being the big sister!

Nikki said...

Oh gosh, I am just a blubbering fool here. That was so beautiful, Dawn. I love your relationship with Lily and understand so well the love you have for her. Her concern for sweet Rosie touches me to the core! Wow. You have rocked my world as a family of three and I am starting to see that it is gonna get SO MUCH BETTER very soon.
XOXOXO

3D said...

What special and loving words.

Keep smilin!

Shawnstribe said...

Dawn hold on tight my girl and just know that you are a beautiful Mama.
lots of hugs
xxxxxx
Shawn and Aila Mei

Special K said...

Awwww... that made me a little teary. So very sweet.

Vivian M said...

Kerri has been having night terrors since her adoption, although less frequently now. It is horrifying to watch, but it's best not to try to wake her. We gently touch her and speak very softly, and she calms down in a few minutes. We hope Lily does not have any more of them.
By the way, your letter to Lily is just beautiful!

PIPO said...

Dawn, I just love that post. You have made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Hoping Ms. Lily sleeps deep and sound.

Stephe said...

Hi Dawn, this is Stephe from Giorgia Danette.
Now, I know I’m not a mom or anything yet but I just wanted to give you some info that I had read about. I have heard that some 1st daughters that have gone back to China to adopt their younger siblings had many fears of returning to their homeland, being left there, being taken away, traded for their newest sibling. Could she subconsciously be having any of those fears? We know NONE OF THAT WILL HAPPEN but I wonder how our kids process this.

She might not consciously know she has these fears…because when she is awake, she let’s her brain guide her thoughts and she knows that this won’t happen but when she’s asleep and her thoughts are free to wander…who knows. I feel their pain.

I loved your letter to Lily, it made me cry. How do you explain the depth of your love to your child? I think you did it very well.

Best of luck. Thanks for sharing. I can’t wait til you all have Rosie!!!!

Love ya, Stephe
P.S. Thanks for your email! :)

Life with JJ, Starr and Spice said...

Dawn:

Lily is a smart girl and knows that life as she knows it will be a bit different. There will be a new mei mei to share mommy and daddy with but she also know that the place that she holds in your heart is solid and forever. Yes, Lily will have a new reality but it will be a richer and deeper one with the addition of the new flower.

I am sure that she has some questions and nagging thoughts about going back to China as well which will be cleared up once you are there for a bit.

Your letter is amazing and is such a wonderful way for your daughter to see the amazing love that you have for her. Now that I think of it..your whole bog is a love letter to your daughters.

Huge hugs,
me

Tammie said...

As Rosie Day gets closer, Lily will have concerns. Her life is about to change in a big way. Unfortunately, at her age, she may have questions &/or concerns that she just doesn't know how to talk about. Just keep doing what you do best - love her & encourage her.

Your letter is beautiful.

Ashley Winters said...

Every word you wrote will be true! We adopted our second daughter last spring. Every child is different, wonderful and unique in their own way. You will love and cherish them both.

PS. Lovely letter!

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