Feeding The Fish

I was going to call this a post for Grandpa but I am not actually sure that my father even looks at the blog anymore but I hope he does because he will love this post.

We had plans for today but they got all messed up what with one thing and another so we quickly made a picnic, jumped into the car and headed south to Islamorada in the Florida Keys. It really isn't very far and as long as there aren't any traffic snarls we can get there lickety split. We decided not to tell the girls what we were doing since every plan we had made for this weekend had blown up in our faces and each time they were really disappointed. Just the idea of having food in the car makes them really giddy and this time we added the DVD players to the mix so pretty much they were ecstatic.

We had been to Robbies when Lily was 3-ish and it was just a dock and little more but now we pulled up the car to the sounds of a steel band and lots of little market stalls etc. The place has grown for better or worse depends on what you like I suppose. we paid our $1 entrance fee per person and the chap let the kids in free and we headed towards the dock. We asked Lily to read the sign that explained that she must NOT put her hands in the water as the tarpon DO bite and that she must NOT hand feed the pelicans as they Do bite etc etc. Jacob struck up a conversation with one of the owners and he offered Jacob a pole to attach the under water camera to so that he could capture the tarpons feeding frenzy from a different vantage point. Needless to say Jacob was in heaven doing this and one of the fish even bit the pole. Rosie was terrified of the whole scene and needed to be carried. After a few moments I explained that the huge pelicans were very sweet birds and the enormous fish were just hungry and wanted the fish that we had in our bucket and that nothing could hurt her so she decided to suck it up a tiny bit...not a lot though at this point. After taking a few photos Rosie watched Lily and Jacob feed the fish from the comfort zone of my arms and finally decided to get down and investigate things for herself. Before we knew it she was chucking the fish wildly into the water and having a fine time of it. As each bucket would run out of fish she would yell for more. When it was time to leave she was the one who begrudged the idea the most!
We had a fantastic time doing something so simple and the girls are already begging to go back again.

Rosie clinging to Jacob still rather unsure of it all. Lily however was loving it.



Rosie getting looser.

Looky I'm holding a shark, That is what she called them and who was I to correct her. I was just glad she was having fun.

Feeding frenzy

I have no idea what she is doing??
Want some fish bones Lil'? EEEEEWWWW, No way Daddy.




Heron looking so regal and the sign behind her reads, Islamorada Queen!

Pelicans Birdnapping a boat
All that fun is exhausting I tell ya'.

Chef Lily.

This post is bought to you by Chef Lily. Actually it is bought to you by me but is about the fabulous dinner prepared by Chef Lily.

I cashed in my very first Mothers Day coupon last night and went straight for the big one: making dinner. When I first handed it over Lily got a little wriggly and just didn't really know what to do so I told her to look in the fridge and in the cupboards and asked her if there was anything there that she thought she could use. Within minutes she had decided she was going to make toasted cheese sandwiches with clam chowder and raw veggies on the side. Once the decision was made she set to work and I manned the camera. Rosie ran around the island yelling, "the kitchen's on fire" not very helpful but awfully funny.

Lily would not let me help her at all even with the sharp knife that she used to slice the cheese. I hovered around feeling quite useless as she did an amazing job. She flitted from the stove to the island, stirring her soup, slicing tomato's, cutting cheese, toasting bread, arranging raw veggies into little dishes, getting dresses for dips and even set the table and placed a candle on it. Oh wait, I was allowed to light the candle since I was not going to let her do that! I was given a lovely cold glass of milk to drink and I think it complimented my food perfectly.

She pulled it all off and was really pleased with herself, as she should have been. Even Rosie who is an extremely fussy eater complimented the chef at least 10 times. I enjoyed every single bite and could not believe that such a wonderful feast had been prepared by a 7 year old. Lily and I love toasted cheese sammies as opposed to grilled cheese ones and these were superb in my opinion as she loaded them with sliced tomato.

Thank you Lily for a really fabulous dinner, I enjoyed every single morsel and I think you are a wonderful chef.

It's A Simple Thing

A girl and the love of horses. Marquesa was the first horse Lily ever rode at the stables and she has loved her ever since. She never rides her anymore because Marquesa is a beginner level horse and Lily is now in advanced classes but the love and trust has not faded. This evening Gema just picked Lily up and placed her on her bare back. As you can see Lily was in heaven.

Cashing In My Mothers Day Gifts

Lily took great pride this year in making me my gifts for Mothers day and her teachers really did put some thought into them. By far my favourite is a little coupon book that she put together containing 9 coupons for various things.


6 of the coupons are already filled out and 3 of them are blank so that I can choose what I want them for. She could choose as many or as few as she wanted so she chose all of them. Sweet girl.

This is my favourite:


Some of the others include: vacuuming one room, washing the dishes, breakfast in bed, a car wash and a batch of cookies.

This one however is going to be a real challenge and I cannot wait to cash it in and see what she pulls off! She already told me that she has some ideas. She is a smart kid so I think I will do it soon just to see how she handles the situation because if nothing else it will be a whole lot of fun.

I'll let you know what we have and how it goes.

The blank ones will be used for lots of hugs and kisses cos I can never get enough of those and since the kid looks like she'll be working like a slave I think a reward will rather nice for her too.

Oh, and on the back she even wrote an expiration date! I have to use them before December 24th 2010.

Mothers Day

Thank you girls for making this a day that no longer makes me cringe, no longer makes me wonder why me, no longer makes me cry, no longer makes me wonder if I will ever hold a child in my arms and understand the love of a Mother. You have both bought me such happiness and filled my heart with a love that I sometimes think goes beyond human measure.

I understand now why it took so long because this is just how it was supposed to be. You 2 and us. The perfect family. We go together like bread and butter, toast and jam, because you are my heartbeats. You are the chocolate in my life and without you I would not be.

I do find it strange that society dictates that we need a day to honour our parents because I truly believe that every single day is Mothers Day. I revel in both of you. Sometimes we have bad days and I mess up and handle things really terribly but those days are rare. We have fun and can make lemonade out of the worst lemons. We have adventures out of the every day mundane stuff but that is how we do things. Going to the grocery store makes us laugh our goofy heads off.

I love you both and thank you for all the little things. Thank you for making Mothers Day something that we all celebrate together as a family.

Look over your shoulder.....I'll be there.

Mummy.

Self Expression

This morning Rosie wanted to do some painting and all I had on my agenda to do was clean the house so I set up her easel and let her paint her little heart out. As I cleaned she painted and painted and trod in it and walked around to find me. She walked some more and painted her hands and touched the cupboards and touched the chairs, she climbed on the step stool to wash her hands and painted the sink and everywhere in between. She had such fun and I ended up with a REALLY clean house. A win win situation.

These photos were taken when she first started, before things got really messy and the paint got spread hither and "throw". I realised after I cleaned up the footprints and the hand prints that they would have been much better photos. The green paint one inch think up to her armpits would have been better fodder than these but at the time I just forgot all about the camera.

Busy Bee's.

I was reminded earlier today that I have not been blogging. There is a good reason for it, we have been busy and the weather has once again turned hot and I have had migraine after migraine from it....ughh. So I will now try and bring the weeks events up to date whilst in a medicated stupor. hah...not all bad I tell ya!

Last Tuesday our attic was invaded by a swarm of bees. As if this isn't bad enough Lily will go into anaphylactic shock if stung by a bee and they were somehow getting from the attic into our bathroom even though there is no attic hatch there. A quick call to a bee man in the next county and we had an appointment for bright and early on Wednesday morning to solve our dilemma and calm Lily's frazzled nerves. I left early to go to work and when I returned I couldn't see any bees at all swarming so I bounced inside and asked Jacob what the guy did. Nada, zip, diddly, was his reply! Apparently, Mike the beeman took a look around and said that the bee's were lost and that they were not building a hive in our attic but in fact they were looking for their own hive and that they would move out shortly and find their queen. I initially thought this man was raving mad and wanted to know just how much this information had cost us. Jacob said all he had to do was listen to a 15 minute sermon on Christianity and the man shook his hand and left. The bees did too cos they are gone. He was not in fact raving mad and does in fact know all about bees. All of lifes little problems should be so easy to solve.

Rosie is potty trained! Nothing more to say about that really. Well one more thing, all her clothes are falling off of her now cos she doesn't have the extra padding to hold up her shorts, skirts and pants. She wears the smallest knickers that I have ever seen and they are so sweet and her little bum looks teeny tiny in them. She calls herself a big girl now. In her mind she has graduated from baby to big girl because she wears knickers. She is even dry at night and at nap time. I think she is pretty late doing this but I am just glad that she is finally here.

Hubby had some type of stomach flu. It was short and sweet thank goodness but he thought he might die. Nuff said!

I decorated our bedroom. Just one day in a frenzy I re-did the whole room. Love it. Did the master bath too cos you cannot leave that out when it is part of the bedroom, well sort of part of the bedroom. I will post photos soon. I need to take some.

I have become a Craigs*list Junkie. I swear if it isn't tied down it is going to be listed and sold. So much easier than a garage sale.

If I am rambling you can blame the meds and the migraine.

Unfit mother that I am I purchased the movie Mrs Doubtfire for Lily. I completely forgot how "naughty" and inappropriate it is for a child of that age. Oh well she has seen it and I have had some explaining to do even though I tried to divert her attention a few times and cough really loudly a few times to cover things up. She loves it. She now insists on calling my brother and his partner Uncle Colin and Aunt Jon, just like in the movie. Sorry Colin and Jon and I am sure she will forget about it soon. She doesn't really know why she is saying it other than most couples have a boy and a girl....that is her reasoning. (it made me giggle). She even told someone at a party on Sunday, rather proudly I might add, that she has an Uncle Colin and an Aunt Jon. They were talking about how all families are different, some have 2 mummies and some have only a mummy and no daddy etc.

This weekend the girls went to a birthday party and each child got to paint a ceramic, even Rosie. Need I say how big she thought she was? It was so sweet as she picked out the one she wanted and then went to town painting it with the big girls. Lily painted a plaque for her room that say's "Girls Rule" on it with some flowers. She did an amazing job, perfectionist that she is. Rosie chose a peace sign and I told her her Uncle Colin would be very proud of her. She then got gobs and gobs of orange paint and painted it. She wants it on her wall too......yikes.

Anlei, the birthday girl.


Lily


Lily sporting yet another gap and Joie


Rosie's colour palette


Ta Da.


As you can clearly see in the pictures, Lily lost another tooth this week. She lost the tooth that was beginning to dissolve. Yay for that. It came out on Tuesday night, a night when I had a particularly bad migraine and was so thankful that they had gone to bed. Not five minutes later she crept downstairs with a huge grin on her face, blood all over her chin and hands and I knew I was going to have to force my throbbing body into an upright position and celebrate. She must have yanked it out really forcefully cos she was bleeding everywhere and informed me that her bed was all bloody. Did I mention my head? I asked if she would be able to sleep in her bed or if she needed new sheets. Under normal circumstances I would never uttered those words and the bed would have been stripped immediately but....my head. She got back into bed, It had a tiny drop on her duvet cover and finally she fell asleep and the tooth fairy gave her extra money. I think she did that because I was so unimpressed by the whole bloody event and she felt a bit sorry for her.

I bet you are really glad I am finished!

Run, Run, Quick.

We spent a really fabulous afternoon at the park today. We had our bikes with us and it was the first time we have headed out with both girlies riding their own bikes whilst we rode ours. It was a lot slower than usual cos Rosie's itty bitty legs just don't go that fast.

We headed to the meditation pagoda and I decided it would be a perfect place for a family photo. I had my purse camera with me so Jacob decided to set it on self timer. HAH.

I don't think I have ever used the timer on my camera so Jacob fiddled about for a few minutes and then announced he had it. I know I don't need to tell you how hard we were laughing.

Wanna see the photo?

He just wasn't running fast enough and I was just calmly placing Rosie on a seat. Oh well scrap that one and try again. and again. and again. Somehow Lily stayed composed through the ordeal even though both her parents were laughing ridiculously. Rosie, she just went along with it but couldn't understand why we all staring at the camera when nobody was holding it.


We ended up with this one. Not what I had envisioned when I had the idea but never mind. We got back on our bikes and rode our legs off.


Today gets chalked up as one of those days I dreamt about whilst waiting for my girls to come home. Perfection.

Shot Gun.....Gets more attention than bullets!

• Not sure where this week went. I am in a sleep deprived coma from the whirl wind.
• I forget to blog now as I post everything on FB. I cannot remember what I have said here and what I have not.
• Tuesday morning at 5.30 my alarm went off and I had to drag my droopy bod' out of the house shortly after 6.30. Not hard for many people but (a) I do not do mornings and (b) I cannot leave the house without washing my hair and straightening it. Freakish fool that I am! I had to be at what we hoped would be Rosie nursery school next year, for a lottery number. You showed up at 7 received your number and then went back at 9 to see the drawing. When I arrived at 6.50 the queue was half way around the building. Jacob went back at 9 and lucky number 31 was pulled out of the tub so Rosie will start this nursery school in September. She will go only 2 mornings a week from 9-1. Sad, sad, sad my little Weasel is getting big.
• Why do people that drive on the expressways think it is OK to get into the outside lane and do less than the speed limit? If you are going to do the speed limit, or gawd forbid, less than the posted speed limit stay in the inside lane. Driving back from Orlando last Sunday this was doing my head in. If I want to break the law and drive faster than the assigned speed get the hell out of my way! Slowpoke! This is truly a pet peeve of mine.
• I received my new green card. Whoop dee do. I am not about to thrown out of this country and I can travel back to the UK this summer without any hitches. This time the renewal was painless, I did it online and showed up for my biometrics appointment on time and walked out of it with an extension on this card and a promise of a new one in the mail. I am still planning on applying for citizenship one day in the next 10 years.
• Why is it that when you enter an immigration building here the only language you hear spoken is Spanish? Surely if you are applying for a visa to live somewhere you really ought to speak that language. Every single person that worked there spoke to me first in Spanish (must be my blond hair and blue eyes) and then after I told them first in English and then in Spanish that I don't speak Spanish they would look at me like I had two heads and then speak in English. I find this peculiar.
• School is nearly over for the year. Can I have an "Amen Sista" to that. I love it when the girls are home.
• As school is nearly over it means that Lily is nearly 8. Not sure I am at all ready to say my baby is eight. So glad I spend so much time with them. I love being their Mama and every second really does count.
• After a set back in the potty training area it looks as if we might be once again ready to throw diapers to the wind. I let Rosie take the lead with only the occasional prod from me. I bought her some new shorts that had a snap and zip in them and she declared them big girl shorts and decided knickers were in order. Who was I to stand in her way? She now HATES to have to wear a diaper when she sleeps but if she has a few more dry nights I might just let it happen. This kidlet refuses to use a toilet anywhere other than at home so this is a huge problem. She looks at them, turns up her nose and declares them, "to dirty". If it wasn't so distressing it would be funny as all heck. ~snort~
• Off to buy my super reader a new book for a great week in school. Any time she gets to the end of a week without a note about talking is a great week IMHO. Don't push your kids to read and do all that stuff before they start school cos you are not doing them any favours at all. I never pushed this with Lily she just learnt what she learnt but she is so flipping smart that school is boring to her. What takes the average student an hour to learn she picks up in a few minutes so whilst she waits for the others to catch up, she chats!
• Rosie is getting a "prize" to for keeping her knickers dry. I bet she is going to love seeing that I wrote that here when she is a teenager.
• Have fun this weekend. We plan to.

What A Great Lunch.

A couple of months ago I received an email from Doris of the 3D's asking if we lived near close to Orlando. I said that we lived about 3 1/2 hours away by car but with the girls it was closer to a 5 hour drive and why pray tell was she asking? Turns out the 3D's were heading from Canada to Fl for a week and she wanted to get together. No need to twist my arm we would make it...somehow. On Saturday morning I strapped the girls into their car seats, stocked the car with lots of road trip junk food, slapped a T.V. screen in front of both of their faces and hit the gas.

We were about to drive 200+ miles to have lunch with people that we had never met before. Sound crazy to you? Well yes it sounds crazy to anyone outside of the adoption community but to us this is normal and acceptable behaviour. I have followed Doris' blog for nearly 4 years and vice versa. I know the kind of lovely person she is and the wonderful man to whom she is married. We were finally about to meet and the bonus in this, Daphne is finally home and if you have not followed this blog you need to take a little peek at it and see the cuteness that is Daphne.

Rosie has been toting Daphne's photo around with her ever since it came in the mail. She calls her Daphme and is very fond of her. Lily thinks she is adorable and I could barely wait to feast my eyes on the whole family. We drove up to Orlando in record time, for us, and checked into our hotel. We exchanged a couple of messages and arranged to meet at Downtown Disney for ice cream. The girls and I headed out and had dinner and we finally received the call. We bounded over to Ghiradelli and I immediately spotted Dan. Within seconds Doris appeared and I saw Daphne. Dear gawd, that little girl's cuteness exceeds words. She is thoroughly and absolutely divine. All smiles and she immediately went to Lily and touched her and pulled at her, Lily was in heaven. Seeing 3 people that you have never met but who are so familiar to you is like seeing family. We bought our ice cream, thank you Doris and we sat outside and chatted. Oh it was so lovely. So, so incredibly lovely. I had to keep reminding myself that we hadn't met before. We ended up taking the girls on a carousel ride and walking around but it was getting late so we parted ways with a promise to meet the next day for lunch where we would meet up with Dannye and hopefully also Catherine and Hannah.

After breakfast the girls went swimming for an hour and then off we went to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch. As luck would have it we had to wait for ages for a table so Dannye, Ellen, The 3D's and ourselves walked the mall and talked, we talked a lot but yet, not enough. How can you talk for years worth of talk in a few hours??? I finally got to meet Mikkel for the first time, Dannye and Ray's little boy. He is the sweetest and tiniest little man ever. So very cute with the biggest blue eyes that just steal your heart. He was a little shy around all the girls and stayed very close to his mama and grandma. Just as we finished lunch he conked out.

Anyway with further ado I will show you some photos of the good times we had.

Meeting Doris, Dan, and Daphne for the first time.

Riding the carousel

Yummy, ice cream

I call this my paranoia photo. Whenever we take the girls to a crowded place we always dress the alike as it makes it easier to keep an eye on them. This time I didn't do it so the second we arrived at Downtown Disney on Saturday night I took their photo in case we got separated. That way I would know exactly what they were wearing as I am sure in a panic I would have forgotten.
Rosie insisted on standing next to these Lego dogs. She didn't however wait her turn she just barged to the front hence the sideways picture.




All of us girls


Daddy Dan and Daphne. (Dan is one of the sweetest, nicest guys you will ever meet in your life and one AMAZING father. When I told hubby about him he was bummed that he didn't get to meet him, I knew this from the blog but meeting him in person just solidified it all )


Is this not the sweetest photo of Dannye and her little man, Mikkel?


Needs no introduction really does it!


Time to say bye bye.

We didn't get to meet Catherine and Hannah as they arrived later on Sunday and we had to head out. Dannye and I have been friends now for a few years and sadly she is still waiting for Chynna. Her patience will pay off but my heart goes out to her as this wait is now just plain cruel.

To Doris, Dan and Daphne, thank you so much for saying you were coming. I would have driven further it was so wonderful to meet you. You are the most kind and wonderful people and have the most gorgeous baby girl, but you probably know that already. The girls keep talking about Daphne as do I. How great it is to drive so far to meet people you have never met!
Hugs and kisses from all of us.

Adoption Blogger Day (Long)

Today the Joint Council on International Childrens' Services called today, "We Are The Truth Adoption Blogger Day". What exactly does that mean and why am I participating in it? Well, unless you have been living under a rock or in a tent on a desert island you have heard all about this little boy and the sad situation that he has had imposed upon him by his mother. I refuse to call her his adoptive Mother as she is his Mother. The Joint Council wants to help spread the word that adoption is not a scary thing and not something to be afraid of. ( abusive and neglectful parents are fodder for another day!) So this brings us to the second part of the question, why am I participating in the blog day, that is simple. I am an adoptive parent I have 2 fabulous girls who totally rock my world, my hubby's also. In addition to this the adoption agency that this woman used to bring her son into her life is our agency and I stand behind them 100%.

I am sure that somewhere buried in the archives of this blog is a post that is pretty much the same as this one as I know I have told this story before.

When we entered the point in our lives where we knew adoption was right for us we carefully and I mean, oh so very carefully, selected an agency. I am the type of person that researches dishwashers so you can imagine the scrutiny that I put perspective adoption agencies under. The list was narrowed down fast, really fast. Three were left standing, out of about 50. It took me months to do this. Being a Brit I even went internationally to check out agencies over there. Finally WACAP stood at the top of the pile. They were out of state but this was a non issue. When we called in a social worker, (read after months of scrutiny and interviews) she groaned when she found out what agency we were using because they required so much more paperwork that all the others. This is why we choose them, they are thorough, very very thorough. I am obsessive and I need someone as diligent as I.

Oh the paperwork, the questions, the forms, the trips to the doctor, the notary, the bank not to mention the immigration headaches! Now it was our turn to be scrutinized. WACAP wanted to be certain we knew what we were getting into. Of course we did! Did we realise this and that about institutionalized children? ehh, yes sort of. Sort of? Sort of wasn't good enough they needed us read this, read that, talk to this person and that person, and finally fill out a bazillion forms. Finally we were in the program and our dossier was logged in.

We read about bonding and attachment, read about orphanages, read about developmental delays, read just about anything we could get our hands on. Who am I kidding? I read and told Hubby! We waited forever, or so it seemed at the time, along with our families, for our perfect, and healthy little girl and on July 3rd 2003 we finally saw her face. For us it was love at first sight. All our fears melted away and we had the most beautiful daughter in the whole wide world. (we still feel this way)

We were finally able to hold her in our arms on August 26th 2003. She was scared, terrified in fact. We were giddy, in love in fact. For the first time in years our world was the right side up and hers was upside down. Our dream come true was her biggest nightmare. Her cries as she realised her Nanny was leaving were heart breaking. I realised what was happening but for that moment I was only holding my daughter, taking her in, smelling her sweetness, and kissing her for the first time. I knew she was in pain but for that one tiny little second I was selfish. I "came to" quickly and her needs came first. Skin to skin contact, lots of time in our arms, eye contact all the stuff we had been told by our agency. Her needs were our first priority and nothing was going to ever come between us and what she needed. Of all the things I had read the conference call with WACAP's social worker was the most helpful information I had found/received for the first few days. It was priceless.

Her first night she slept like a champ, in the morning we got the face, the one that says," Oh no, you fruitcakes are still here? This wasn't all a bad dream?" and she cried again. Outwardly she was fine but she was protecting herself and was starting to close down emotionally. No one was home, just this little baby girl in a shell of a body. after a few days she started to rally round. We never put her in a stroller to begin with we always held her. She started to giggle and grin and then she started to babble.

The night we got home with her it was really late and she was asleep in her carseat. We carried her and the carseat into the house and propped her against the couch. When she woke up she hopped out of her seat and literally took off running. She ran from room to room, laughing and smiling. It was the most peculiar thing, it was as if she could tell she was finally home. The next 6 weeks we spent under self imposed house arrest. No big trips, just the store for necessities, no outings and if people wanted to meet her they had to come to us. That way they would leave us and Lily would get used to the idea of people coming and going but she never left, she always remained in the same place with us. The other golden rule that we refused to break was "nobody gets to touch or hold or feed the baby...NOBODY". That upset a few people but we had to make her learn that we were the ones who were there for her, we would comfort her and give her what she needed. She had to learn to trust us for everything she wanted.

It all paid off. Lily is a Rockstar. She is 7 now, almost 8. She is smart, funny, outgoing and an absolute daredevil. A fabulous big sister and the best daughter a mother could have. Her daddy will tell you the same if you ask him!

It wasn't long before we started the process all over again. This time we found Rosie as opposed to her finding us. Due to Rosie having a heart defect she was on our agencies waiting child list, or SN ( special needs) list. This time we really had to jump through some hoops with WACAP. Make a resource plan, visit a trillion experts in the medical field that pertains to your childs SN, convince us to 100th degree that you are capable of this and that you ARE the right family for this baby girl. They were on our side and they were fabulous. Before we knew it, well not quite before we knew it cos we counted down every single day and Lily was about to explode with anticipation at the thought of meeting her mei mei we were on that long plane ride again, heading back to China to fill the hole in our hearts that only this baby girl could fill.

Oh that moment all over again. The tears, this time the tears were 1.000 times worse. Rosie was in a Half The Sky orphanage and she truly didn't want to leave it. She cried so much our group referred to her as the screamer in the group. She was truly devastated. It didn't matter what we tried she wasn't going to stop at least not for a few hours. We followed the protocol that we used with her sissy. It took longer but it worked. Lily was her fast friend and I came in second. Daddy was not very welcome but he was fine after the initial shock of leaving my arms. As the days passed she came around, in her own time of course. She was fragile and not because of her heart. Her personality was fragile. Big tears could flood those tiny eyes at any given second. Oh my aching heart it was so sad. The big sister was a champ with her and Mummy and Daddy followed Rosies cues. My cousin accompanied us on this trip and she stayed at arms length. Rosie did not respond to any noise for 2 days. She started to convince all of us, even our guide, that she was deaf. No worries we can deal with it. Whatever it is she is ours and we will love her no matter what. Her chest was slightly deformed and we were not sure if this was due to her heart or not but it made no difference to us, other than if it was caused by her heart then her condition was going to be ALOT more serious than her medical records presented but again...it is what it is.

Once we finally made it home her special needs became quite obvious. A very mild heart condition and a big case of attachment issues. Our poor baby girl was hurting. Her emotional heart was hurting and there was no surgery in the world that could fix that. About 2 weeks after we got home Rosie still wasn't sleeping and it was not just the jet lag, we were missing something. Something was wrong with our little one and she was not a happy little girl. Sure she smiled but she was not able to relax. We were all sleep deprived and I don't know about you but I do not do my best thinking on 45 minutes of sleep a night. crazy I know. I thought about ringing Barb. our SW but decided that WACAP was the place to turn. I rang them chatted for a few minutes with Mary Ann and that night Rosie slept for 14 hours straight. They knew what to do, what to try and they were correct. I blogged about it but I am not about to search the archives looking for it but it was March 08. Lots of time and love and stability later and we have put many of her demons to rest. Some still show up and we fight them together. Yes, Rosie was a special needs child but it wasn't her medical needs that have caused her so many tears but her emotional needs.

Rosie is 3 now and taking the world by the horns. Her heart is condition was fixed by a fabulous team of doctors and her broken heart is still healing. We still have some rules in place regarding who gets to be close to Rosie and we follow her lead and she lets in who she can. Most people don't see what we see, the scared, anxious side of her, she saves the best for us. She learnt very quickly to turn to us for comfort and for that we are so very thankful.

The problem with having children is that from the second you become a parent your heart magically moves to the outside of your body and you watch it move around and get hurt before your very eyes in the form of your children and it hurts so darned much.

It truly saddened me yesterday when I realised that I was going to have to say something to Lily about this little boy and his plight because I was worried that one of the kids in school might say something to her because they all know she is adopted. We had been making sure we kept her away from this story as we didn't want to scare her or worry her as it is our job to protect her but as I thought about it, it would be scarier to hear about it from school or have some dingbat make a nasty comment about her being sent back than hearing it from us. All the talk about families are forever blah blah blah and now I am explaining how this woman decided hers was not forever and put the kid on a plane. Thankfully Miss Smarty pants got it and realises she is not going anywhere as this family truly is forever.

Ours was a typical adoption story but now it is just a typical, "and they all lived happily ever after" story. When I am asked if the girls are adopted I say, "No they are not, they were. Now they are just Lily and Rosie."

Will there ever come a day when I don't have to explain my family to someone....oh gosh I really hope so. Will I ever stop advocating adoption...not a chance!

I have such a beautiful family and you can too, just open up your heart.

Five Against One.

When Lily first started having sleepovers with her 3 best friends the whole idea of it made me a little jittery to be honest. How on earth was I going to handle 5 kiddies? I know the girls really well, they are sisters and we spend loads of time together but having them here all night was a different matter entirely. The first time I don't think I relaxed for one second but somehow as the sleepovers have happened more and more I must have got used to it because yesterday when I went and picked the girls up I didn't bat an eyelash. We threw all the car seats in the car and I made sure everyone was buckled in tight and off we zoomed with barely a see ya soon to Hollis.

After a couple of hours of madcap playing and some dinner I asked the girls if they wanted to head out to an ice cream shop for dessert. Of course they did. So we headed back into the car and I, alone, took 5 girls out for ice cream with out thinking about it. It wasn't until we pulled into a parking apace that I said to them that there was only one of me and five of them so they needed to be on their best behaviour. They were and all was well. In fact the whole outing was a piece of cake and I noticed something: when you have 5 children with you, who all happen to look similar, people assume you have 5 children and instead of the ever annoying, mind grating, "are they adopted", question I was asked a couple of times by very amazed women, "you have 5 children". It was really rather refreshing that people actually assumed they were mine for a change. They giggled their way through ice cream and we returned home for some more madcap playing and tomfoolery until bath and bedtime. They play so well together and I love, LOVE to hear the giggles that erupt from them. I don't know two other sets of siblings that spend this much time together that play so well.

Considering that they were still going strong last night at 10.30 and Rosie is only 3, I was mortified when I was awoken before 7! Oh well such is life and at least today Jacob was here. After starting the day as a short order cook we rounded everyone up dressed them and headed out for a day of fun at the zoo. I have now figured out the fastest way to get everything done with 5 kiddos and it works for me. In fact what used to take me forever is now just second nature. I am impressing the socks off of myself. Don't panic I have no intentions of growing my brood quite that much. Although on two separate occasions today when Jacob and I were both asked if all the girls were ours we both said, no we have 3 and 2 are our friends....oopps! Duh!

We have had membership at the zoo since the year Lily came home and I can honestly say today was the most fun we have ever had there. We rented a bike, walked miles, ate lunch, had lemonades, chased lots of girls and generally laughed ourselves silly.

Lily the bat


Anlei the bat


I was standing on the other side of a waterfall.


Digging for Dinosaur bones


The huge zoo bike. THe girls loved this thing...too bad their legs were not longing enough to help pedal!


Joie and Rosie


Trevi and Rosie and a little Indian Deer thingy


Cute little otter.


Jacob, Lily and a friend.


By the time we had made it to the end of the zoo parking lot 2 of the 5 were asleep! They woke up when we pulled into the driveway and immediately flew back into action. We ate dinner and threw everyone into the tub. If the ring around the tub is any indicator of the fun these girls had today then it must have been a banner day cos the bath was really nasty. I almost put them back in again ! We drove everyone home wearing their jammies cos we knew that it would be late and frankly it would be a nice surprise for Hollis to not have to do it and if my girls fell asleep on the way back we could just scoop them inside and put them to bed. It also added to the fun of the day...who knew!

Lesson learnt.......I can do five with my eyes wide shut!

How Should I Put This?

This is probably going to be a post that you will not agree with, that is fine. It is not fine however for you to flame me in the comments section as this is my blog.

Both of my daughters are adopted, (there's a newsflash, huh) and as a consequence of this they both have biological parents. Without these parents/people, I would not have my girls. I cannot imagine this as they are my heartbeat, they give me life but they are MY girls. I don't see them as adopted they are mine. I just don't think of their bio-parents much. I know that sounds really callous and I don't mean for it to be but that is how it is.

Occasionally Lily will mention something about hers and we discuss it but that is the extent of it. I never close down the conversation because we are very open about it and them and if one day there is ever a chance that she can find them and meet them I will be right there by her side holding her hand and encouraging her, if that is what she wants. This is not how I feel about their heritage and their culture or the fact that they are adopted because we celebrate all of those things this is simply how I view birthparents.

Sadly we know nothing of the situation that led to either of my daughters being put up for adoption and if you follow Bria*n Stuy*s ResearchChina Blog you may have read his articles on birthmothers and how they "deal" with the issue of giving children up for adoption. I used to paint a really pretty picture for Lily and Rose about their birth parents but now I have toned it down somewhat. They know they were loved but it is no longer all sweet and gushy.....that part of the story is not mine to tell. I cannot pretend there are 2 woman in China who are grieving for them as this may not be the case and I can not lie to them.

I am their Mother, I kiss them each night, I wipe their tears and hold them when they are scared, I scold them when they are naughty, laugh with them when they are silly, and play with them. I bath them when they are dirty, feed them when they are hungry and comfort them when they need it. I am the one who they turn to for advice and praise. I am not the biology that made them but I am the love that sustains them.

I will always be grateful for the DNA that made my girls but they are just that, MY girls.